


The many lives of a King and his Sorcerer

by snickersnack



Series: First kiss [4]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Feels, First Kiss x 2, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, M/M, Merthur - Freeform, Reincarnation, Same-Sex Marriage, Teeny tiny mention of boys getting it on but nothing graphic, Teeny tiny mention of suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-13
Updated: 2013-04-13
Packaged: 2017-12-08 08:32:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 31,198
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/759302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snickersnack/pseuds/snickersnack
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Merlin moves to London to stay with a family friend, he saves the life of a prat and ends up with a job.<br/>As they get to know each other they think that they may have met before. And then they remember.</p>
<p>They remember a past life from long ago and Merlin remembers waiting. He waits, then as Camelot is in need of a new King his King returns to him and they have a whole new life together.</p>
<p>As the boys remember more lives, Merlin struggles to cope with the memories until it nearly destroys them both.</p>
<p>Will Merlin be able to move on from their past lives towards their happy ever afters?</p>
<p>Yes, yes he will. With Arthur with him how could he not.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hmmm, not sure about this. I had lots of ideas and ended up putting them all into one story. Not sure it works and it got a bit long. But I have written it now so here it is.   
> Hopefully a few of you out there in AO3 land will make it to the end because there is a happy ending and thats all any of us wants right? Our boys to be together and happy. (There is also a happy ending in the middle too as an added bonus)
> 
> Good luck.  
> x

This was Merlin's first day in London and he wasn’t sure if he was scared or excited. He had completed his A-levels and had taken a year out whilst trying to decide what to do. He had spent that year quietly in his village with his mum, doing odd jobs for anyone who wanted him to and working at the village pub from time to time. He had been accepted to start university in London in October but wasn’t sure if he really wanted to go. The year was now nearly up and Merlin’s mum had shipped him off to stay with their old family friend, Graham White in the city. Village life was all Merlin knew and she thought a few months in London before he started his new course would do him good.

Merlin was quite proud of himself for finally finding the shop that Graham owned and lived above. It was in a busy high street and was quite an old fashioned chemists, mainly handing out prescriptions to the elderly in the near vicinity and selling Calpol and nappies to young mums.

The little bell rang over the door as Merlin pushed it open and as he entered the shop the old man behind the counter looked up.

“Can I help you?” he asked as Merlin walked through the shop looking around him. The young man looked a bit shifty and Graham didn’t want any trouble.

The young man grinned at him and Graham was surprised to see him hold out his hand as he shifted his heavy bag on his shoulder.

“I’m Merlin” he said brightly as the older man shook his hand.

“Helen’s son?” he gasped and Merlin nodded. “You are so tall” he said “you used to be so short and ….chunky.”

Merlin laughed “Well I was about five the last time you saw me. I was bound to get a little taller and hopefully I won’t always be this scrawny.”

Graham had been a little apprehensive about agreeing to taking in Helen’s boy. The idea was that Merlin would stay for a while and then if they hit it off, he may stay whilst he studied. He would work in the shop on Saturdays and help out any other time that he could. Graham wasn’t sure what he was letting himself in for but he could see already see that they would get on. He already liked Merlin's easy manner and cheeky smile. He went to lock the door and put up a “back in five minutes sign.”

“Come on up, I will show you your room” he said as he led Merlin up the back stairs. “It’s nearly closing time, unpack and settle in then I will find us some super.”

Merlin thanked him and looked around the room. It was small but clean with a freshly made bed in the middle and a wardrobe against the wall. He knew as soon as he had met the old man that he had made the right decision in coming. He had a good feeling in his bones.

Over the next few weeks, he and Graham fell into an easy routine. Merlin worked in the shop on Saturdays and delivered prescriptions to the house bound the rest of the week on a rickety old bike. He also did any other jobs that Graham needed of him. He got on well with Graham and the ladies who also worked in the shop and all was well.

One evening Merlin decided that he would explore a little and took himself out after super. He found himself bravely entering a trendy wine bar. He sat quietly in the corner and had one drink before deciding to leave. As he got up, a group of young men in business suits walked in laughing loudly at some joke a blonde, good looking one had made. As they came up to the bar, a scruffy looking man turned round with a tray of drinks and spilt them down the blonde man’s suit. Instantly the man stopped laughing and turned on the poor man who looked terrified at the glare the blond was giving him.

“I am so sorry” the man stuttered grabbing some paper serviettes from the bar and wiping them down the blonde’s front.

He batted the man’s well-meaning hands away and started yelling at him.

“Do you have any idea how much this suit costs?” he shouted. “Probably more than you earn in a month.”

The man tried to apologise again but the blond cut him off.

“It is completely ruined, you idiot” he yelled grabbing the front of the man’s shirt and pulling him towards him to continue his shouting.

Merlin felt sorry for the scruffy man and before he had a chance to think he found himself standing next to the two men.

“That’s enough friend” he said calmly to the blonde man, “He said he is sorry, now let him go.”

The blonde turned to Merlin, releasing the other man’s shirt.

“I’m sorry,” he said in his private school British accent, “but do I know you?”

Merlin smiled and held out his hand “I’m Merlin,” he said cheerily

The man just looked at it then back up at Merlin. 

“So I don’t know you,” he said “and yet you called me friend.”

Merlin felt all his calm leave him and through gritted teeth said; “My mistake, I would never be friends with an arse like you” and as soon as the words were out of his mouth he knew he had made a huge mistake. 

He saw the other man’s jaw clench and his eyes narrow in on Merlin. He knew if he didn’t get out of there quick he was going to get a fist in his face so he did what any sane person would do and ran. As he ran down the street he could hear the group running after him yelling. Luckily he was a fast runner and had the advantage of converse trainers over expensive handmade leather shoes and he soon lost them. He decided that perhaps Graham would like some company this evening instead and ran back to the safety of the chemist shop with its small flat above.

 

A few days later as Merlin packed his messenger bag with the day’s medicines to deliver, Graham came out of the back room with one more.

“This one,” he says “is for the managing director of Pende Industries. Now you know the rules,” he continued, “You must give it to the person named on the label. In this case it is Charles Pende and I’m afraid it won’t be easy. They will try and take it from you on the front desk. Then his secretary will try to take it from you when you get upstairs, but don’t be put off, make sure you give it to the man himself.”

“Sounds like fun,” Merlin grinned as he settled his bag over his shoulder and across his chest. “I will save that one for last.”

Graham patted him on the arm, “Good luck, my boy” he said as if Merlin was about to face down a dragon. Merlin grinned at him and went on his way.

Graham had been right. It wasn’t easy. The snooty man on the front desk did try and take it off him as he stood in the glass fronted foyer of Pende Industries whilst the traffic rumbled past outside.

“I am quite capable of ensuring the package will reach Mr Pende in one piece young man,” he said looking down his nose at Merlin over his glasses.

“Yes, I know,” Merlin argued “but my boss gave me strict instructions that I am to give these to Mr Pende myself. I am only trying to do my job properly. You must understand that.”

From behind him Merlin heard a familiar voice say “Is there a problem here?” 

Merlin slowly turned around and sure enough there was the handsome blonde man from the wine bar. The prat was standing with his hands on his hips and his eyes narrowed when he saw who was bothering the receptionist.

“You!” he said as Merlin’s stomach fell. He pasted on a bright smile, hoping to save himself by being nice.

“Yes, it’s me,” he said with a grin.

The prat huffed at him. “What do you want?” he asked

“I have to deliver this to Mr Pende,” he said holding up the paper bag for the prat to see.

“Well I am his son, Arthur, so you can give it to me and I will ensure he gets it.”

Merlin sighed and pursed his lips.

“I’m afraid I can’t do that. I have been told I have to give it to your father myself.”

The two men stood in the foyer glaring at each other, when there was a sudden squeal of breaks from outside. Before they knew what was happening a car came crashing through the front windows and was heading straight for them. 

Arthur found himself rooted to the spot as he stared wide eyed at the fast approaching vehicle. Merlin began getting out of the way but realised Arthur wasn’t moving. He ran back towards the path of the car and used his momentum to push Arthur out of the way. They both ended up in a heap on the floor just by the side of the car that had smashed into the reception desk, showering them in broken glass and plastic from the car’s windshield and head lights and polished wood from the desk. 

They lay panting together on the floor as people ran over to see if they were okay and as others ran to the driver of the car. Merlin tried to get up but he felt a bit dizzy. His head and arm hurt from where he had landed on his side. Through his haze he saw an older man in a well-fitting suit run towards Arthur and help him sit up. 

Arthur was shaking as hard as Merlin was as the man now held him tightly as he sat with him on the floor. Arthur was confused and he couldn’t hear himself think over the sound of his heart pumping blood around his body. He had also bashed his head in the fall. He had felt sure he was going to be killed by the car. Was that his father holding him? It couldn’t be as that was something he could never remember happening before. But the thing that was confusing him most was the colour of the stranger from the bar’s eyes. They were an unusual blue and he knew them as well as he knew his own.

Merlin tried to get up again but still found he couldn’t. There were legs running about and someone’s hand was pressing something against his head. He could hear sirens in the distance but found the only thing he could focus on properly was Arthurs blue eyes that he knew so well from somewhere. Arthur’s eyes were locked with his and Merlin thought he might drown in the intensity of that gaze.

“Do I know you?” someone said. Neither Merlin nor Arthur was sure which one of them had said it or even if it had been said at all as they both passed out.

Both boys woke up in opposite beds in A and E a little while later.

Arthur woke up to see his father beaming down at him. It was quite unsettling. There was a doctor with him who was telling him that he was fine. He didn’t feel fine. His head was hurting and he felt a little bit sick. He was told that he had had a small bang to the head but that there was no damage done and that he probably passed out due to the adrenaline in his body and the relief of not being killed by a speeding car. He was free to go but to come back if he had any double vision.

His father helped him sit up and he saw the idiot from the wine bar sitting up on the edge of the bed opposite. A nurse was just covering a small stitched cut on his forehead with a cotton pad. Neither of them remembered the feeling of recognition that they had encountered in the foyer. They just remembered the car and the fear and the confusion of legs and sirens.

Charles strode across the room to stand in front of Merlin. Merlin suddenly panicked as he didn’t know what had happened to the bag he was supposed to be delivering. 

Charles looked down at the boy and smiled at him.

“You saved my boys life” he said. “I must reward you”

Merlin shook his head, “No sir” he said “I don’t want anything.”

“Nonsense” Charles said “Do you need a job?”

Merlin actually did need a job. Graham was only paying him in food and board. He was only helping him out until he found something else so that he could save for uni in October.

“I suppose I do.” He said. He presumed he would be working in the mail room. That’s where unqualified people worked wasn’t it?

“Excellent,” Charles said, beaming over at his son. “Arthur needs a new PA. You start on Monday.”

“Father no!” Arthur said at the same time as Merlin said; “No, I couldn’t possibly..”

Charles held his hands up to the boys who were staring at each other with annoyance. Neither one of them wanted to work with the other.

“It is already settled,” Charles said and beckoning to Arthur to follow him he strode out to the waiting car. He was an important man and always got his own way and Arthur knew there was no point arguing. Perhaps the idiot wouldn’t even turn up for work Arthur thought then he mentally told himself off. The idiot had saved his life he supposed; he ought to at least remember his name. He thought it was Merlin, could that be right? No-one was called Merlin. No he was sure that was it he thought as he climbed in the back of his father’s car and allowed himself to doze as he was driven home.

Merlin sat on the edge of the bed looking at his feet. He didn’t even know what a PA was. The nurse was still there tidying up around him.

“That’s nice,” she said. “You save his sons life and he gives you a job. You would think he could at least offer you a lift home as well.”

Merlin frowned at her and shook his head,

“God, no” he said “that would mean getting in the car with his son. He is a complete prat. What is a PA anyway?” he asked her feeling a bit thick.

“It’s a personal assistant” she laughed. “Oh dear you are in a pickle aren’t you? Getting a job you don’t even know for a man you don’t even like.” She leant in close “Next time,” she said then dropped her voice to a whisper “Let the car hit him.”

“Good advice,” he said “What happened to the driver of the car?” he asked.

“He had a heart attack, that’s why he lost control but he is stable and hopefully he will make a full recovery. It’s a miracle that no one else was hurt. Now who can I phone to pick you up?”

Merlin shook his head again. He didn’t want to worry Graham. “I will get a cab” he said.

*

The shop had shut by the time he got back and he trudged up to the little flat and flopped down at the kitchen table.

“What on earth happened to you?” Graham exclaimed as he took one look at his young friend.

Merlin rested his head down on his arms on the table.

“I got a job” he moaned.

“No I meant your head, Merlin. What happened to your head?”

“Remember that prat from the wine bar?” he started

Graham gasped, “You haven’t been fighting have you?” he asked shocked. What would Merlin’s mother say if she knew he had allowed her son to get into a fight?

“No, no,” Merlin said. “He is the son of Charles Pende and I stupidly saved him from being killed by a stupid car and now his stupid father has given me a stupid job being his stupid’s sons stupid PA.”

Graham tried not to laugh but Merlin looked so wretched.

“Oh Merlin,” he said giving him a hug. “Are you alright? Have you just hurt your head? We had better ring your mum”.

“No, please don’t phone my mum,” Merlin implored, “It’s just a few stitches. I’m fine. Tired though.”

“Well let’s get you some super and you can go to bed.”

 

Graham was horrified when he saw the 9 o’clock news that night after Merlin had gone to bed. They showed the black and white security footage of the moment the car smashed through the foyer of the office block. It was quite grainy but clearly showed Merlin running back into the path of the car and the force that the boys had hit the floor, just inches from where the car was, their bodies being showered with shattered glass and wood as they clung together, trying to protect each other from the debris. There was then footage of a shaky looking Arthur being led from the car to his house by Charles Pende. Then a short piece to camera from Charles saying how lucky everyone was and that nobody had been hurt, including the driver of the car who was going to make a full recovery and was happily fully insured.

There was then a short segment about the mystery man who saved the millionaire’s son’s life before they went on to talk about horse meat in the food chain.

Two minutes later the phone rang.

“Was that Merlin?” a voice said sounding slightly hysterical.

“Helen, he is fine.” Graham said in his best reassuring voice, “He has a few stitches and I have sent him to bed to rest but the hospital discharged him and he has had some super, so he is fine”

He could hear Merlin’s mum trying not to cry. “That man said that no-one was hurt” she said “I don’t call hospitals and stiches not being hurt. My poor brave boy. What was he even doing there? You must send him home Graham. Send him home tomorrow.”

“The thing is,” Graham said. “That man has given Merlin a job. I am not sure that he is going to take it but if he decides to then there is no point in his coming home. I really believe that everything happens for a reason Helen, perhaps this is Merlin’s destiny or something.”

After much more reassurance and the promise that Merlin would phone her in the morning, Graham managed to hang up. He went to check on Merlin then set his alarm to go off every half hour before he went to bed. You never can be too careful with head injuries and after convincing Helen that Merlin was fine; he ought to make sure he really was.


	2. Chapter 2

Mercifully Merlin was fine and on Monday morning he put on his only shirt, borrowed a tie and reported to Pende industries. He figured he had to go and collect Graham’s bike anyway so thought he might as well give it a go.

He was sent to personnel who kept him hanging around for ages before taking all his details and getting him a security pass. Arthur’s secretary then came and collected him and took him up to Arthur’s office. 

The secretary was very sweet and was called Grace. She told Merlin she thought him very brave and that he didn’t look like a rufty tufty hero type. Merlin told her that he was in disguise. Grace told him that Arthur was a bit of a bully and even though he had not long left university and taken up the job that his father had picked out for him, he had had more PA’s than people who had been there years.

“Can I let you into a secret Grace?” he asked as they walked out of the lift on their floor. “I didn’t even know what a PA was until after I was given the job. I haven’t got a clue what I am even doing here.”

Grace laughed and put her hand on his arm. “It will be fine,” she said, “I will help you and Arthur isn’t that bad. Between you and me, I just think he is a bit insecure. He has a very responsible job for someone so young. His father has been preparing him for it all his life and I feel a bit sorry for him. He really didn’t ever have a choice.” And with that she had knocked on the door of an office and pushed Merlin inside.

Arthur stood up as Merlin walked in and looked him up and down. He didn’t like what he saw.

“I’m surprised you turned up” he sneered “and for your information I expect you to start at 8.30 and now it’s nearly 10. And is that really the smartest clothes you have? We do have a dress code you know and it doesn’t include converses. Just because you saved my life, that doesn’t mean that you are going to get special treatment. And what is it with your ears?” he finished up whilst glaring at Merlin for a response. 

It was Arthur’s plan to be as horrible to Merlin as possible and make him quit by the end of the first day. In fact he was going to try to do it by lunch time. Then his father couldn’t have a go at him for firing him.

Grace heard Arthur yelling at Merlin as she closed the door and sat down at her desk outside. She bit her lip and curled her blond hair around her finger. She had liked Merlin straight away and wanted him to last. She was debating going in and giving Arthur a piece of her mind, something she often considered but never had the courage to actually do, but then she stopped to listen as Merlin began giving as good as he got.

“For your information sire,” Merlin snarled snarkily, “I was here at 8 but your ‘human resources’ department is so rubbish they only just finished with me. Human resources what does that even mean? That is the stupidest name I have ever heard.”

Arthur opened his mouth to say something but Merlin just ploughed on.

“And yes,” Merlin said “these are the smartest clothes I own. I was going to buy some shoes this weekend but what with my Saturday job and a crippling headache and bruised shoulder from saving some prats life it never really happened.” He knew he should probably stop talking now but he found he had a lot more he wanted to say so just carried on as Arthur stared at him looking dumbfounded.

“I will admit that I almost didn’t turn up, I didn’t ask for this job but your father gave it to me and it seemed disrespectful to not even give it a go. I don’t even know what a PA does but I am quick to learn and if you would just try and see past my ears and give me a chance, I will try and see past your arrogant, spoiled, snobbish, prattishness and give you a chance.” Merlin stopped yelling and realised he had probably gone too far. His shoulders slumped and he looked at the floor, toeing the carpet with his shoe. “I don’t want special treatment Arthur” he said quietly “I just want a chance.”

Arthur stared at him opened mouthed as Merlin kept looking at his shoes. No-one had ever spoken to him like that. Part of him was livid that anyone would dare, and in his own office, but part of him was thrilled. All his life it had been ‘yes sir’ and ‘no sir’ starting with the staff at home when he was a small boy. He was always treated with respect at school by teachers and pupils alike but that was because of who his father was and the fact that he bought the school a new science wing. Then when he started work a few months ago every one tiptoed around him, again because of who he was. He was sure everyone hated him as he tried to make his mark on the company and prove himself worthy of the responsibility his father had given him but no one would show it.

Now there was this slender man standing in front of him just asking for a chance. Isn’t that the same as what he wanted? A chance to show people what he was capable of and not because of who his father was. And if he was totally honest with himself, he quite liked Merlin’s ears and the way his dark hair curled around them. They suited Merlin’s fine features, drawing attention to his prominent cheekbones. Was his hair actually that dark or did he dye it? It made his skin look beautifully pale and made the blue of his eyes look stunning.

Arthur gave himself a little shake as he drew his gaze away from the man in front of him and looked out of the window instead. He couldn’t think where all those thoughts had come from. He pulled a breath in through his nose as he pursed his lips and squared his shoulders.

“Fine, Mer-lin,” he said “If it’s a chance you want, it’s a chance you will get. We will start with a two week trial then we can both decide if this is going to work or not. I expect you to listen to what I say and work hard and in return I will teach you all I can for you to become the best PA you can be. But let me tell you now, ‘prattishness’ isn’t even a real word.”

Merlin looked up at him through those long eyelashes and tried to glare at him but Arthur could see the smile creeping in at the corners of those full red lips and found his own lips curling up slightly at the corners.

“Do we have a deal?” Arthur asked holding out his hand to shake on it.

“Yes we have a deal” Merlin replied, but rather than taking Arthur’s hand in a conventional deal confirming shake, he grasped Arthur’s arm nearly at his elbow and Arthur found his hand closing around Merlin’s arm as if it was the most natural thing in the world and they grinned at each other.

They quickly pulled apart as there was a knock and Grace popped her head round the door. 

“Your 10.30 has arrived early sir” she said trying to see if everything was okay between the two men, “Shall I show him in?”

Arthur gave a little cough. “Yes please do Grace,” he said, “Thank you”

 

*

 

Merlin did work hard and Arthur was pleased to see that he was indeed a fast learner. The only problem was that they bickered constantly. They just couldn’t stop themselves. Charles was dismayed that he had saddled his son with such a surly assistant but he had to admit that despite the constant insults they threw at each other (which if he was honest could be quite funny) Merlin and his son did seem to be working well together. 

Merlin was surprised to find that he would actually do anything Arthur asked of him and he asked lots. He complained all the time but he didn’t really mind. Arthur had Merlin running all over the place and Merlin got home every night absolutely exhausted. He would spend his evenings complaining to Graham about how much of a dollop head Arthur was. Graham kept reminding him he only had to do it for two weeks then he would be shot of him. The thought secretly filled Merlin with dread and he vowed himself each night that he would work harder and try and be nicer so that Arthur wouldn’t get rid of him. Arthur was so golden and he loved it when he had done something well and Arthur would grin at him, lighting up the whole room with that smile.

Each night Arthur would go home and tell himself to be nicer to Merlin the next day. Yes Merlin was a scruffy, clumsy, idiot who couldn’t be trusted with pouring coffee, but already he was becoming indispensable. Merlin was working so hard and Arthur knew that if he didn’t lay off him a bit that at the end of the two weeks Merlin would walk, and secretly, he really didn’t want him to. Merlin was so pretty and he would miss watching those slender fingers as they took notes and fiddled with his tie when he was nervous.

Everyone at the office could see that they hated each other and it seemed such a shame that Merlin would soon be gone. He was just so likeable and somehow his being around seemed to make Arthur more bearable. They supposed it was because the poor man took the brunt of Arthur’s bad moods and they all tried to help Merlin as much as possible. It all made for a very efficient team and Charles had noticed their increased productivity all ready. 

One thing that no-one did notice though was the warm glances and fond smiles that both Merlin and Arthur tried to keep secret, both from each other and those around them. Merlin would rather die than let Arthur know that he actually admired the man. Arthur put on this show of being a selfish, self-centred ignorant prat but Merlin was starting to see it was all an act and that he was bloody good at his job. Grace had been right, Arthur was insecure and he did have a lot to prove.

At the end of the Friday of the second week, Arthur called Merlin into his office.

“Well,” he said, “I suppose you haven’t been completely useless and I have to admit you have at least tried to not ruin the company. Do you want to stay? I could probably stand to have you round for a further month’s trial if you wanted. It’s up to you.”

Merlin glared at him.

“I might as well.” He said. “It’s something to write on my CV if nothing else your royal pratness.”

“Fine, see you Monday then, idiot.” Arthur said, kicking himself for not coming up with a more original insult than that. Merlin was so much better at it than him.

“Fine” Merlin replied grumpily and swept out of Arthurs office. He tripped a little in the doorway but hoped that Arthur hadn’t noticed as he walked down the corridor grinning from ear to ear.

Arthur saw as Merlin stumbled and smiled to himself at the man’s clumsiness. Merlin had agreed to stay and Arthur could not be happier.


	3. Chapter 3

The next week carried on much the same. Everyone was surprised and thrilled to see Merlin on Monday morning. Arthur and Merlin kept up with the constant bickering but as their team kept getting results everyone tried their best to ignore them. Arthur and Merlin were both blissfully happy though no-body would have ever guessed.

On Wednesday morning as Arthur was going through the day’s schedule with Merlin, Merlin’s phone rang. Merlin’s phone never rang and Arthur huffed and rolled his eyes at the interruption.

Merlin looked at the screen and saw it was his mum; his mum never rang during the day.

“It’s my mum,” Merlin said and Arthur could see the concern in his face. “May I?” he asked.

Arthur rolled his eyes again, “If you must.” He said though mentally kicking himself again at being so mean.

Merlin started pacing the room as he spoke to his mum and Arthur couldn’t take his eyes off him. He so hoped everything was okay.

“Calm down Mum,” Merlin was saying. “You are talking too fast, I can’t understand you.” Merlin listened as his mum obviously calmed down enough for Merlin to follow what she was saying. 

“Okay” Merlin said, “It will be fine, I’m on my way, we will sort his, just try and stay calm. I won’t be able to get there till later, depending on the trains but I am on my way.” And as he said his good byes and hung up he turned to Arthur.

“Sorry sir,” he said shoving his phone back in his pocket. “I have to go.”

“What on earth is wrong?” Arthur asked.

“Our village has flooded. Our house is knee deep in water and everything is ruined. Thanks for putting up with me,” he continued “it’s been…” he searched around for a word but couldn’t really think of one. “fun?” he ended lamely as he made his way to the door.

“But you will be back?” Arthur asked.

Merlin shrugged, “It’s my Mum,” he said simply. “I will stay as long as she needs me.”

Arthur nodded. His own mother had died in childbirth so he didn’t really understand, but he supposed he would do the same. Then he had an idea.

“Wait” he called and followed Merlin down the corridor. “I will come with you. I can help.”

Merlin stopped dead in his tracks and turned round to look at Arthur quizzically.

“That really won’t be necessary,” he said wondering what the hell Arthur was up to.

“I know, but I want to.” And he really did. For some reason he wanted nothing more than to help Merlin and his Mum. “Let’s go and tell my father.” 

Before Merlin knew it he was standing just behind Arthur as Arthur explained to his father what had happened and that he was going to give Merlin a lift as it was a long way and two trains were involved and Merlin would probably get on the wrong one and get lost and then he was going to stay and help in any way he could and that Wheatherby had the reports all under control and that he would be back as soon as he could. 

Arthur was aware that he was babbling but couldn’t seem to stop until his father held up a hand to silence him.

Charles shook his head at him.

“No Arthur,” he said. “You are not going gallivanting all over the country on a whim.” Arthur started to argue but Charles stopped him again.

“I understand that you feel you need to repay Merlin in some way but you already have. You have kept him on despite everything and I think the boy will understand that this is out of the question. Am I right?” he asked looking over at Merlin.

“Um, yes sir?” Merlin replied, not quite sure what the question had been.

“Now that’s final.” Charles said as he returned his attention to his computer screen.

“Yes father.” Arthur said and he shooed Merlin from the room.

“I’m sorry Merlin,” he said as they made their way to the lift.

“That’s okay,” Merlin said, “I appreciate the thought. Perhaps you aren’t as much of a prat as I thought you were.” He grinned and pushed his shoulder against Arthur’s making Arthur wobble as they waited for the lift. Arthur smiled at Merlin and Merlin smiled back.

“Well take care of yourself idiot.” Arthur said as they got out of the lift on the ground floor. He held out his hand and Merlin grasped it the same way he had on the first day. Arthur pulled Merlin towards him and gave him a quick one armed manly hug with the other arm. 

“You too, prat.” Merlin said as he returned the hug and pulled away. 

As Merlin walked past the newly glazed window, he glanced back inside to see Arthur still standing in the middle of the foyer watching him. Merlin paused and gave him a small wave and a half smile which Arthur returned before turning back to the lifts.

*

It took Merlin hours to get home. By the time he had packed and got on the next available train, then waited for the next before having to get on a bus replacement service because of the waterlogged tracks, Arthur was waiting for him outside the station.

Merlin walked up to him as he sat on a bench reading a paper. He was wearing jeans and a red V-necked t shirt and grey hoody. Merlin had never seen him not wearing a suit. Casual clothes looked good on him though he did look about 12. He stared at him looking stunned. He dropped his bag on the floor which made Arthur look up.

“Ah there you are.” Arthur said as if he had been waiting for Merlin to fetch him a file. “I was wondering whether I had missed you.”

“What are you doing here?” Merlin asked. “Did your father change his mind?”

“Don’t be stupid Merlin,” Arthur replied “I am a grown man and I don’t have to always do what my father tells me. Now where do you live?” he said as he started walking towards the car park as Merlin dutifully followed behind him. He was too shocked to reply and Arthur took his bag off him and swung it into the boot of his car.

“I bought the Land Rover.” He said, “Its better at getting through floods than the BMW. I also bought wellies,” he continued “I wasn’t sure of your size but thought bigger would be better than smaller so I got you a size bigger than mine.” Merlin saw that there were indeed two brand new pairs of hunter wellies in the boot along with Arthur’s overnight bag.

Merlin didn’t really know what to say.

“Why are you doing this?” he finally asked as he realised he had been gawping at Arthur for too long.

Arthur looked away and shrugged.

“Dunno,” he said, “just seemed like the decent thing to do. Now get in and tell me where we are going.”

Merlin climbed in and started giving directions as Arthur drove out of the car park.

As they made their way to the village they began to see the extent of the damage. What with this being a typical English summer there had been much rain over the last few weeks. The problem was that as the ground was still hard from an unexpected heat wave at the end of May, the water couldn’t drain away. Merlin’s village was near a river and during a torrential storm in the night it had burst its banks and flooded the surrounding area. There were a few roads that were completely closed and it took a while for them to find a route through the mayhem. They would never have managed it without the 4x4 and Merlin was so glad Arthur had come.

They eventually got close enough to Merlin’s house to climb out of the car and wade through the water in their new footwear.

Merlin’s mum was out in the street talking to the neighbours who were trying to unblock a storm drain. There were only three houses down the end of this lane and elderly couples lived in the other two.

Helen looked up as her son approached and sloshed over to him and flung her arms round his neck.

“I didn’t think you would be able to make it.” She said. “I have been trying to phone you but I couldn’t get a signal. The main phone lines aren’t working. I was going to tell you to turn back. The roads are all closed and you haven’t got any decent foot wear.” She broke away and looked down at Merlin's feet. “Where on earth did you get those?” She asked “You didn’t steal them did you?” 

Merlin laughed and shook his head.

“No mum, I didn’t steal them, how could you say such a thing when I have come all this way to rescue you?” he asked pretending to sound offended.

Arthur held back a little and watched as Merlin hugged and chatted to his mum. He felt like he was intruding and for the first time that day he wondered what had made him drop everything and drive to the end of nowhere for a man he didn’t even like very much.

Merlin looked nothing like his mum. She was small and round with very curly brown hair. Arthur figured he must take after his dad. He suddenly noticed that Merlin and his mum were looking at him and Merlin was gesturing to him to join them. He suddenly felt very shy which was a first. He had never felt shy in his entire life. He looked over and saw that the neighbours were eyeing him suspiciously.

Merlin nearly laughed as Arthur nervously waded towards them. If he thought he looked about 12 at the station, he now looked now like an 8 year old who had been caught stealing sweets.

“It’s alright,” Merlin said “I know you don’t have much experience with mothers but they don’t bite.” 

Arthur just glared at him.

“This is Mr and Mrs Williams and Mr and Mrs Matthews,” Merlin said introducing his neighbours who all smiled and said hello. “And this is my Mum,” Merlin continued and taking a deep breath said, “Mum, this is Arthur.” Merlin's mums face dropped but she covered it quickly with a smile.

Arthur held out his hand. “I’m pleased to meet you Mrs….” Then he realised he didn’t even know Merlin's sir name. Did he even have one?

“Oh just call me Helen.” Helen laughed “It’s lovely to meet you too. Thank you for coming but I don’t know what you will really be able to do.”

“Help I hope,” said Arthur 

“There is not really a lot we can do until the water subsides. We will just have to sit it out I think.”

“Where are you going to stay tonight?” Merlin asked looking at the small group of people around him.

“Well here,” Mr Williams said. “The upstairs are okay. We have no electricity but we have candles and the waters still working.”

“But it can’t be safe to drink.” Merlin said “you will have to get it tested or something.”

“You can’t stay here” Arthur said “There must be somewhere else you can go.”

“These are our homes young man,” Mrs Matthews said crossing her arms over her chest. “You can just pop off and find somewhere nicer, but we are not abandoning our houses.”

“I’m not suggesting that you do.” Arthur replied “but it’s not safe here.”

“He’s right mum,” Merlin said. “You can’t stay here.”

“I know, but all our friends are in the same boat” She said, “All the hotels and guest houses nearby are full up. Not that we could afford them. It is peak summer after all.” She laughed, “We have nowhere else. We have to stay”

“There has to be somewhere.” Arthur mumbled and pulling his phone out of his pocket went off to try and find a signal.

Helen watched her son watch Arthur walk off.

“What is he even doing here Merlin?” she asked. “I thought he hated you.”

“I don’t know. I thought he hated me too but I arrived at the station and he was just sitting there waiting for me. He wanted to give me a lift all the way but his father said no. He just decided to come any way. He bought me the wellies and everything. I don’t know what he is playing at.”

“Is that the boy you saved from that car?” Mrs Williams asked and Merlin nodded. 

“Wish I hadn’t bothered though.” He said which made them all laugh.

“Well that’s it then isn’t it?” Mrs Matthews said, “He feels grateful and wants to make it up to you. Strange way to go about it though.”

They all got to then talking about the accident. They wanted to hear all the gory details and to see his scar. Merlin lifted his hair to show them and his mum was pleased to see it wasn’t that bad and mostly hidden in his hairline. Mrs Williams and Mrs Matthews ooed and ahhed over it and said he was a hero. He didn’t feel like a hero. 

Helen took Merlin inside and they looked at the damage. The tables and chairs were all floating about. She had started trying to rescue stuff that hadn’t yet got wet and taking it upstairs but her heart wasn’t in it. 

Merlin waded through to the kitchen then back out again. They were right; there wasn’t a lot they could do until the water level went down. It had already started as you could see a water line further up the wall where it had been earlier in the day.

As Merlin went over to give his Mum another hug he heard voices outside. Arthur was back and was talking to the others.

“Ah there you are.” He said. “The caravan park up the hill has had some cancelations due to the bad weather. You may have to move about a bit but they say they can accommodate you all for a few weeks. So I have booked three caravans for four weeks, that should be enough time to sort something else out for you.”

They all stared at him as if he had grown two heads.

“We can’t afford to stay up there!” Mr Williams said. “The insurance might not even pay out. They are a bit funny about floods.”

“It’s not going to cost you anything.” Arthur said “It’s all paid for. There are restaurants up there and a super market so at least you will be able to eat. All I ask Helen is that I can stay with you tonight, if that’s okay. Now go and pack your bags. My car is not far away and I can give you a lift. Might take two journeys’ but we will soon have you settled in. Then hopefully tomorrow the water will have gone down and we can start the tidy up.”

Arthur spoke with such authority that they all found themselves doing what they were told and went off to pack their bags leaving Arthur and Merlin outside.

“You didn’t have to do that.” Merlin said.

“I know.” Arthur replied “But I did and now it’s done and that is final.”

“Thank you Arthur”

“Let’s see if we can clear this drain” said Arthur changing the subject and they fell to the task until the others were ready to leave.

Arthur took the neighbours first and helped them find their caravans with a promise that he would be back at 9 to collect them. Then he went back for Merlin and his mum.

Arthur had never been in a caravan and was expecting it to be cramped and terrible but it was quite nice. There were two bed rooms in the one that he had booked for Helen, one with a double bed and one with two singles. There was a nice shower and a big kitchen area and sitting room with a telly and everything. Arthur was pleased.

“I thought it was going to be horrible.” Arthur said. “I was wondering what I had saddled you with but I figured anything had to be better than staying in a damp flooded house with no electricity.”

“It’s perfect Arthur. I don’t really know how I can thank you.” Helen said dumping her bag on the double bed.

“No need,” Arthur said grinning at her, “Pleased to help. I really am.” And he was surprised to find that he really was.

He looked over at Merlin who was looking at him as if he were a complete stranger. He felt like a complete stranger.

They rang out for pizza and had it delivered to the caravan which Arthur thought was just brilliant and after a relaxed evening of friendly chatter they settled down for the night. Arthur felt so at home. This was nothing like spending an evening with his father. He wondered if Helen would let him stay again. He really liked her.

As Merlin and Arthur lay on their little beds in the dark listening to each other breathing, it somehow felt like old times to both of them which was weird because neither of them had ever shared a bed room before with any one. Neither of them spoke of it as they settled down to sleep. Instead of keeping each other awake, they found the sound of each other breathing quite relaxing and in no time at all they were both asleep, both dreaming of knights and jousting.

 

*

The next morning dawned clear and hot and the water had all receded during the night.

Merlin and Arthur worked hard all day clearing out ruined furniture and carpets from the three houses.

Helen could see how Merlin could believe Arthur hated him. They spent nearly the whole day grousing at each other. Arthur did sometimes say some very mean things but Merlin could say some pretty mean things back. There were a few times she told him off but he just grinned at her. At one point Mrs Williams got so sick off them as they were pulling up the carpet in her living room that she split them up.

“You are just like my kids when they were little” she said laughing “I used to say to them, if you can’t play nicely you won’t play at all. Now go and help your mother Merlin.”

Arthur didn’t fancy struggling with the carpet on his own so ran out of the room before Merlin could, calling over his shoulder; “I’ll go.”

God Merlin hated him. 

Arthur found Helen taking some boxes of things rescued from the sideboard up to Merlin’s room and grabbing one he followed her explaining that Mrs Williams had separated them.

Arthur dumped the box on the bed and went to leave when he saw a shelf that caught his attention. Helen saw him stop and looked to see what he had seen. It was Merlin’s knight collection that he had when he was a small boy and had never been able to part with.

Arthur went over and studied it intently. There was a collection of plastic figures and well read books and it looked exactly the same as his collection. Some of the books were different but the figures were the same ones.

Arthur laughed.

“I have these.” He said picking up the wizard from the set. His had lost his wand from where he used to fall asleep with it in his hand but this one was complete.

“Merlin used to be obsessed with these,” Helen said. “I took him to a jousting once at a local castle once. He got so upset that they were doing things wrong that he cried for days, saying the king would be displeased. We used to joke that he must be a reincarnated squire.” She picked up the king in the set. “This one was his favourite. It went everywhere with him. He used to sleep with it gripped in his little hand. I think that was how its sword got broken.” 

She looked up from her reminiscing to see Arthur looking at her.

“You okay Arthur?” she asked when he didn’t say anything. He looked quite pale.

Arthur looked down at the wizard still clutched in his hand and held it up.

“This one was my favourite,” he said. “I broke it’s wand by taking it to bed with me.”

“Oh,” said Helen looking at the wizard. “Seems you and Merlin have more in common than you think you do”

“Perhaps Merlin is a reincarnated wizard rather than a squire,” Arthur laughed “You did call him Merlin after all.”

It was Helens turn to laugh. “Nah, I called him Martin.” She said. “His cousin once wrote him a birthday card when they were both tiny. It looked like he had written it to Merlin and the name stuck. He has been Merlin ever since. It kind of suits him don’t you think?”

Arthur looked at her in amazement. He was learning so much about his hopeless PA today.

“His name is Martin,” he said slowly as he broke into a huge grin. “Ha that is brilliant. Martin.”

“Don’t you dare tease him about it Arthur Pende or I will tell him that you actually like him.”

Arthur’s pulled a face at her.

“What on earth makes you think that?” he asked

“Ah,” said Helen, “A mother sees everything. Now go and help him with that carpet and stop fighting with him.”

“Did you just tell me off?” he asked. “You are as bad as him.” he laughed and gave her a cheeky kiss on the cheek and did what he was told.

Helen laughed and kicked him as on the bum as he left the room. 

Arthur thought that Merlin was so lucky to have a mum.

*

They were all exhausted when they got back to the caravan. Mr Williams had managed to get his car out of the garage and gave the Matthews a lift up to the caravan park.

They took turns in the shower had some tea and watched a film before getting an early night.

In the small hours of the morning, Helen was awoken by a loud cry from the boy’s room. She pulled on her dressing gown and slipped out of her room. She quietly opened the door a little just to see if everything was okay.

Arthur was sat up in his bed and Merlin was sitting on the edge of it with his arms wrapped round his boss. Arthurs head was buried in Merlin’s neck and Merlin was stroking Arthur’s hair as he clung shakily to her son. She pulled back not wanting to interrupt but didn’t move away.

“I thought I was going to die Merlin. I thought that car was going to kill me.” she heard Arthur say quietly.

“Shh,” Merlin said, “It’s okay Arthur, you didn’t though, you are safe, I’ve got you.”

“Why did you save me?” Arthur asked.

“I don’t know, but I promise I always will if I can and if I can’t I will die by your side sire”

“I don’t want us to die again Merlin. Not yet”

“We won’t Arthur, now go back to sleep.”

Helen heard Merlin move back to his own bed and she went back to hers. She lay awake for a long time. Arthur had said he didn’t want them to die again and that was quite a big oath Merlin had made and quite an odd one. Did Merlin really call him sire? She managed to convince herself that they were half asleep and didn’t know what they were saying.

*

The next morning it seemed she was the only one to remember it. When she had mentioned Arthurs bad dream, neither of them knew what she was talking about.

Most of the day was spent trying to obtain some industrial dehumidifiers to dry out the houses. The council had got the power back on and the water had been checked and was safe to drink.

After much phoning and driving around Arthur managed to get hold of three of the things and got them up and running. There was not much more they could do now until the houses had dried out and Arthur decided that they had better get back to London that night before his father completely disowned him.

“I think I will stay for a bit,” Merlin said as Arthur went to say good bye to the neighbours.

“Don’t be silly Merlin,” Helen said. “There is nothing you can do here for now, you will get bored. Arthur needs you more than I do.”

Merlin laughed. “He does not need me mum. He doesn’t even like me.”

“You really are as stupid as he says you are sometimes Merlin. Of course he likes you. What do you think he was doing here?”

“I really can’t work that out but probably to pay me back for not letting him die.” Merlin replied.

“If that was the case, don’t you think he would be more likely just to buy you a new bike or something. He likes you and he needs you Merlin and I think you need him too. You work well together. Now go and get your stuff.”

*

They argued all the way back to London. Merlin was sure he knew how back better than the sat nav and Arthur thought he knew better than both of them and they got truly lost a few times.

It was late by the time they got back but Graham was still up and was glad to see him. 

Arthur rang him just as he was dropping off to sleep.

“We have to work tomorrow. Wetherby has stuffed up and father is furious. We need to sort it out” Arthur told him.

“I can’t Arthur,” Merlin answered groggily. “I work for Graham on Saturdays and I can’t let him down. I can work on Sunday if you need me to but not tomorrow.”

Arthur hung up in a huff. He couldn’t really fault Merlin's loyalty but it should be to him not this Graham chap. He lay awake for hours replaying the argument he had had with his father. He really had been angry. Arthur argued that he was entitled to take annual leave and Charles said that though that was true it didn’t mean he should. He threatened to sack Merlin saying he was more trouble than he was worth but Arthur had managed to talk him out of it, pointing out that they wouldn’t even be having this argument if it hadn’t been for Merlin.

He finally got out of bed and rummaged around underneath it. He pulled out a small wooden chest and opened it. He found out the wizard and clutching it in his hand climbed back into bed. The feel of it was so familiar in his hand that it wasn’t long and he was asleep, dreaming about castles and dragons.


	4. Chapter 4

Whetherby really had stuffed up. Arthur worked all day on his own on Saturday and missed Merlin horribly. There was nobody to shout at. He thought about asking one of the others to come in but it wouldn’t be the same. He really wanted Merlin. 

Merlin spent the whole day in the shop complaining about how annoying Arthur was and how close he was to quitting. 

“Well why don’t you then Merlin?” Graham had snapped when he had had enough of hearing about him.

Merlin pouted at him. Yes why didn’t he? He thought about it for a while before answering. 

“Don’t know” he answered eventually.

Merlin went in to work on Sunday and endured the whole day of Arthur being a prat. The rest of the week was busy too and by Friday Merlin was knackered.

“Did you remember my dry cleaning?” Arthur asked mid-afternoon. No Merlin hadn’t.

“Can it wait until next week?” Merlin asked. And of course it couldn’t.

“You can pick it up after work and drop it round to my flat.” Arthur said.

So on a Friday night when all Merlin wanted to do was go home, have his tea and get an early night, he found himself cycling to Arthur’s flat. He had never been there before and he was impressed. It was immaculate. It was spacious and beautifully decorated.

“Take your shoes off Merlin.” Arthur said as he opened the door for him and took the dry cleaning off him to put away. He was wearing a thin white button less shirt that was baggy and open at the neck and black, loose fitting tracky bottoms, the type that weren’t elasticated at the ankle and his feet were bare. Merlin watched him as he made his way across the flat towards the bed room. Merlin was sure he had seen those clothes on him before but he hadn’t worn them at his mums.

“I was going to order some Chinese,” Arthur shouted from the bed room. “Will you join me?”

Merlin really wanted to go home, but he figured why not.

“Okay,” he said as he ventured further into the flat. “I will have to phone Graham. He will be expecting me home.”

“Tell him not to wait up,” Arthur said as he came back into the room and went to the open plan kitchen to get Merlin a beer. “We can watch a film and I will drop you home later. If you would like to of course.” He added suddenly realising that Merlin might not want to.

“Yeah okay,” Merlin said and pulling off his tie he rang Graham.

Arthur flopped onto the sofa and Merlin joined him in looking over some menus. They decided to share a meal deal and Arthur rang up to order. Merlin thought it might be a bit weird but Arthur seemed very relaxed and chatty and they found themselves talking about all sorts of rubbish. After they had eaten they sat back on the sofa next to each other, their legs gently touching and started talking about the future. Merlin told him about the Uni place that he wasn’t sure if he wanted.

“There will always be a job for you at Pende industries if you want it Merlin,” Arthur said. “Of course if you wanted something else then it would probably be best to go and get a degree but I’m sure you will get on just as well in life without one. You have an advantage that I never had in life Merlin.”

Merlin laughed and nearly choked on his drink. 

“Oh and what would that be, my lord?” he joked.

Arthur shrugged. “You are nice and people like you.” He said matter-of-factly. 

“You can’t possibly be serious Arthur. You don’t like me.”

“No okay you are right. Let me rephrase. You are nice and most people like you, but not me. I don’t like you at all. That is why you are sitting in my flat, on my sofa, drinking my beer and eating my food.”

Merlin laughed again but before he realised what was happening Arthur leant forward and kissed him. It was the most natural thing to do, it was as if they had done it a million times before and it was perfect. Then realising what he was doing, Arthur suddenly pulled away and stood up, running his hand’s through his hair.

“I am so sorry, Merlin.” He said horrified with himself. “I don’t really know why I did that. Why did I do that?”

“I don’t know, Arthur but didn’t it feel right? Almost familiar, like we do it all the time?” Merlin said feeling slightly light headed and a bit breathless. His heart was pounding in his chest and he wanted more. He stood up so that he could look Arthur in the eye.

“Yes it did,” Arthur agreed, and he held Merlin's gaze, as they studied each other, trying to remember.

“I know you.” Arthur said as he pulled Merlin into his arms and held him close. Merlin's arms wrapped around him and he felt so safe. It was like coming home. They stood like that for a long time, just holding each other. 

“I know you Merlin,” he whispered again.

“And I you.” Merlin said as he felt the familiar body in his arms. This just felt so right. How could he have forgotten? How come he couldn’t remember?

Merlin breathed in Arthur’s familiar scent and felt Arthur’s lips on his neck as he kissed him gently before pulling them apart. Arthur took Merlin’s hand in his own. He studied Merlin's fingers and knew he had always loved them. He remembered watching them doing something but he couldn’t remember what. It wasn’t writing notes like he liked these days. It was something else. Polishing armour maybe. No that couldn’t be right.

“I want to show you something.” Arthur said as he gently pulled him towards the bed room. He sat Merlin on the edge of the bed and knelt down to pull out the chest and placed it next to him before sitting cross legged on the bed next to it. Merlin turned round and mirrored Arthur as they sat with the box between them.

Arthur opened the lid and watched as Merlin peered inside. He gasped at the contents and looked up at Arthur.

“Are those mine?” he asked confused.

“No they are mine,” Arthur replied finding out the king from underneath some horses. “Look mine still has his sword.” He said handing it to Merlin who held it tight in his hand.

“We had the same toys.” He said “That’s so weird.”

“Look,” said Arthur “we had some of the same books too” and he reached to the bottom of the box and pulled out a pile. He rifled through them until he found one that he had seen on Merlin's shelf.

“I used to get this one out of the library all the time, then one Christmas the house keeper bought me my own copy.” Arthur told him.

“My favourite was this one,” Merlin said as he saw another one that Arthur had. “and my cousin had this one” he said leafing through another. “He used to let me borrow it sometimes. We used to swap. I always wanted him to give it to me but he never did.”

“Well, have that one.” Arthur said laughing.

“No I couldn’t possibly. But maybe I could borrow it from time to time. Maybe over the Christmas holidays? That’s what me and my cousin used to do.” He said smiling fondly.

“Okay, let’s do that” Arthur laughed putting the box on the floor and sitting up against the head board. Merlin scooted up next to him and settled down with the book. Arthur put his arm round him and they sat together for a while, with Arthur looking at the pictures over Merlin’s shoulder. From time to time Arthur would place little kisses on the top of Merlin’s head.

As Merlin got to the last page, he put it on the bed side table and leant up to give Arthur a kiss. They kissed for a long time before slowly undressing each other and climbing under the covers. They made love together. Each one knowing exactly what the other liked, they made it last for hours and it was perfect. Eventually they lay spent and happy in each other’s arms.

Merlin had his head on Arthur’s chest with Arthur’s arms around him. Merlin was drawing lazy pictures with his finger on Arthur’s stomach as Arthur was doing the same on the top of Merlin’s arm.

“Merlin?” Arthur said quietly.

“Hmm?” Merlin replied.

“Would you marry me?” Arthur held his breath waiting for the reply but already knowing the answer. He felt Merlin's cheek go taught on his chest as he smiled.

Merlin propped himself up a little to look at Arthur.

“Yes” he said simply and leant in for a kiss as they started on round two.

 

*

The next morning saw Graham in the kitchen making breakfast. He hadn’t heard Merlin come in and thought he would give him a bit longer before going to wake him up. Then he heard the key in the lock downstairs and a pair of feet on the stairs. No, make that two pairs of feet.

Merlin appeared in the kitchen doorway and gave Graham a huge grin.

“Morning,” he said cheerfully. Then standing aside he pulled a very handsome young man into the room.

“Graham,” he said, “I would like you to meet Arthur, Arthur this is Graham.”

“It’s lovely to meet you Mr White,” Arthur said shaking Graham’s hand. “I have heard a lot about you sir.”

“And I you young man,” Graham replied. He couldn’t fault the young man on his manners.

“All bad I presume?” Arthur said.

Graham wasn’t going to lie, “Yes” he answered and Arthur laughed as Merlin looked at his feet.

“And what may I ask can I do for you this morning?” Graham asked looking from one to the other.

“Oh we have come to get Merlin’s stuff before he starts work. He is moving in with me.” Arthur turned towards Merlin. “Go pack Merlin.” He said.

“Now just wait a minute.” Graham said putting out a hand to stop Merlin from leaving. “Don’t you think Merlin does enough for you at work? He doesn’t need to be your servant at home too.”

Merlin laughed, “No, it’s not like that I promise you.” He said. “We are…..” He searched around for the right word. What were they? Dating? Courting? Boy friends? There was no need to say they were engaged. They wouldn’t be able to marry until Merlin was 21. That would give people time to get used to the idea.

Arthur saw him struggling with finding a word and came to the rescue,

“Um, together?” he said and Merlin nodded.

“Yes together.” Merlin confirmed.

And with that he went off to pack. Arthur grinned at the old man and thought it probably best to help Merlin, leaving Graham staring after them with his mouth open.

Graham stood in the kitchen for a long time listening to the boys as they argued and laughed in Merlin’s room. He heard Arthur go down the stairs with a bag and entered Merlin’s room as he was shoving stuff in a box.

“Are you sure you know what you are doing?” Graham asked, “You have known him for how long? It can’t even be a month yet and you are moving in with him? You tell me all the time how much you dislike him.”

“Oh, Graham,” Merlin said turning to his friend. “He is an arrogant, pompous, ass, but I love him.”

Graham almost choked on nothing,

“What!” he exclaimed with his eyes popping out of his head. “Since when?”

Merlin looked at Graham and tilted his head slightly to the side whilst thinking.

“Since before I was born I think.” He replied truthfully.

Graham was quite taken aback with how Merlin had said that. It was as if he had said that grass is green or that cats are mammals. There was such an honest truth in the statement that Graham wondered if it was in fact true. Merlin obviously believed it.

Merlin looked up as he heard Arthur in the hall way and picked up the box. “Last bit” he said and left to take it down the stairs leaving Graham and Arthur alone in Merlin's room.

“Just to let you know Arthur,” Graham said, “I know of about 20 different poisons and about 100 different ways to administer them to greatest effect.”

Arthur giggled nervously.

“Look,” he said, “I know how this must seem but I would never do anything to hurt Merlin. I’m not mucking about, I truly love him. I really do.”

“Oh yes? And how long have you felt like this?” 

Arthur looked at him as he considered his answer.

“Honestly?” he asked “I think I have loved him longer than I have known him.”

He had replied the same as Merlin had and Graham felt a shiver down his spine. Perhaps these two were just meant to be together. They had been thrown together under unusual circumstances. Merlin had flung himself in danger for Arthur. Arthur’s was the only name on Merlin’s lips. Maybe there was something in it. He had said to Helen that maybe it was destiny. He didn’t really believe in such things, but who knew?

As Merlin joined them again in the room, Graham asked;

“So are you going to tell your mother?”

“Yes tonight.” Arthur replied. “I am going to pick Merlin up after work and we will drive down to see her. It’s the bank holiday weekend so we won’t need to be back till Monday.”

“I will phone her later and make sure she doesn’t mind us visiting.” Merlin said.

“Look boys,” Graham said propping himself up against the bed side table. “Why don’t you slow down a bit. You hardly even know each other. Why don’t you wait? Stop and have a proper think before deciding that you want to live together.”

“We know what we are doing,” Merlin said

“Well your room is always here if you need it my boy” Graham said as he patted Merlin on the arm

“That’s very good of you, but he won’t need it anymore.” Arthur said giving Merlin the sweetest smile.

“Wouldn’t think your father will be too pleased Arthur.” Graham said

Arthur’s eyes snapped towards him and he grimaced, running his hand down his face.

“Shit, I hadn’t given him a thought.” Arthur said and Graham felt bad for bringing it up.

“He is going to kill me isn’t he?” Merlin said quietly.

Arthur laughed. “No he won’t Merlin. I will run him though myself before he touches a hair on your pretty little head.” And he pulled Merlin’s head forward and planted a kiss on the top of it.

“I do not have a pretty little head.” Merlin laughed “You have a cabbage head though.”

“That is not even a thing. Now I had best let you get to work. I will come and pick you up at 5 if that’s okay with you Graham?” Arthur said

“Why not make it 4?” Graham said, deciding he quite liked Arthur “give you a bit more time. I can finish up in the shop.”

Merlin beamed at him “Thank you.” He said.

“That’s very kind of you, thank you,” Arthur said and giving Merlin’s hand a small squeeze said, “I’ll see you later Merlin.”

Merlin just nodded as they smiled at each other and Arthur left. 

*

The drive back to the caravan was uneventful and they made good time. They only argued a bit and Arthur could tell Merlin was nervous. 

“We don’t have to tell her you know,” Arthur said as they drove into the caravan park. 

“No, I have to tell her now Graham knows. It wouldn’t be right not to. I always tell her everything.”

They pulled up beside the caravan and Helen rushed out to meet them. She pulled Merlin into a hug.

“It’s good to see you again so soon,” she said as she pulled away and then drew Arthur into a hug too. Arthur was a bit surprised but secretly pleased. It made him feel wanted. Better make the most of it he told himself, it probably wouldn’t last.

Helen ushered them inside and put the kettle on. They had already eaten on the way so as she was unable to convince them to let her cook she broke out the biscuits.

They fell easily into chatter and though it had only been a week there was a lot to fill them in on with flood and house updates. The house was drying out nicely and the boys agreed that in the morning they would start washing down the kitchen cupboards to see if they were salvageable.

“Now,” Helen said, “What about your news?”

Merlin laughed, “What makes you think we have news?”

“Ah, a mother sees all Merlin, now spit it out.”

Arthur and Merlin looked at each other and Arthur gave Merlin a little nod. “Unless you want me to do it” he said.

“No, that’s fine,” Merlin said and Arthur gave Merlin’s knee a squeeze under the table as Merlin took a deep breath.

“Well,” he started, “I am moving out of Grahams..”

“Oh, have you have found somewhere else to stay or are you coming home?” Helen asked.

“He is moving in with me.” Arthur said.

“Oh, well that’s nice of you Arthur, I expect your spare room will be a bit posher than Graham’s. I’m glad to see that you are getting on a bit better.”

Helen couldn’t help noticing that they both looked a bit uncomfortable and Merlin gave Arthur a pleading look and she realised she was missing something.

“I don’t have a spare room.” Arthur said.

Then the penny dropped.

“Oh,” she said again. “You mean ‘moving in’, moving in.”

And they both nodded. Merlin looked at her under his fringe hardly able to look her in the eye. Arthur just looked at Merlin.

Helen just stared at them. She knew they wanted to tell her something but she didn’t think it would be this. She thought it would be that Merlin had decided to stay on at Pende Industries and not go to Uni. She didn’t think for a minute that he would be moving in with this man who just last week he claimed to hate, though she had seen right through that little charade. Her brain was working ten to the dozen as she tried to process the information.

“Please be pleased for me mum,” Merlin said quietly.

Helen stood up and the boy’s stood up too. She walked up to them and Arthur thought she was going to hit him but she put her arms up and pulled them both into a hug. She pulled away from them and turned to Merlin and put her hands on to his cheeks to make him look at her.

“I don’t really know what I think about this Merlin” she said “I can’t say I like it, but you are my son, and I love you and all a mother ever wants is for her child to be happy. If Arthur makes you happy then who am I to stand in your way?”

“He does Mum,” Merlin said quietly, “He really does and I know he always will.”

Helen wrapped her arms round him and they hugged.

“Put the kettle on Arthur,” Helen said as she held her son, “Make us another brew and we can have a proper chat about this.” 

When the tea was made they all sat down on the corner sofa, with Arthur and Merlin sitting as close as they felt they could get away with in front of Merlin’s mum as she sat opposite them. Then they talked and talked and by the time they went to bed, Helen had seen something of what they meant to each other.

She saw as they looked at each other that there was a deep seated understanding and a sense of joy at having found each other. As Merlin spoke she saw his eyes light up and an animation to him that she had never seen before. At times they both seemed so old and what was that… wise? She was soon convinced that they did need to be together and did indeed know what they were doing. She still wasn’t sure that she was happy with it but felt sure she would get used to the idea.


	5. Chapter 5

The next morning they all walked down to the house and began the kitchen clean up. They worked hard all morning but after lunch Helen sent them off for a walk.

“Why don’t you take Arthur up to the woods?” she said to Merlin then turning to Arthur said; “He used to love it up there when he was a boy. He would play Kings and wizards amongst the trees all day long during the summer holidays.”

Merlin rolled his eyes. “I thank you for that mother.” He said scowling at her as Arthur laughed. But it was a good idea; Merlin wanted Arthur to see the woods that he had loved so much as a boy.

“Perhaps we could get married up there,” Merlin said as they walked up the back lane from the house. When they were out of sight Arthur took Merlin's hand and entwined their fingers together.

The woods were truly stunning and Merlin showed Arthur all his favourite spots. They chatted and laughed and argued and kissed amongst the trees and Arthur thought he might burst with happiness.

As it started to get chillier they decided they had better start making their way back. Merlin led the way back down the path but as they talked he realised they were going the wrong way.

“That’s odd,” he said, “I must have gotten turned around” and he headed off the other way. Soon he realised that this wasn’t the right way either.

Arthur started teasing him about his excellent sense of direction but Merlin wasn’t laughing.

“I know these woods Arthur,” he said slightly concerned, “We can’t be lost.”

“We are not lost, Merlin,” Arthur said “It has to be this way as the path is running downhill.”

Merlin had to agree and they started on the path but soon it ran out and they were up to their knees in bracken.

“This isn’t right either is it?” Arthur asked and stopped walking. They had been walking for ages and were starting to get worried. They tried a different direction but still couldn’t find the edge of the wood.

“You are going to think I am mad Arthur” Merlin said “But it’s like the wood is changing around us. I don’t think it wants us to get out.”

“That does sound mad and it can’t be possible.” Arthur said though he wasn’t convinced that he was right. “There is nothing that can harm us here Merlin and we will get out soon.”

Merlin nodded and held Arthurs hand tighter as they carried on walking. They kept checking their phones but could find no signal.

Soon it was too dark to carry on and they were getting really quite cold. 

“I think we need to make camp.” Arthur said. “I will keep watch whilst you collect some fire wood.”

Merlin glared at him. 

“Why is it that I always have to collect firewood and you always get to keep watch?” he asked crouching down to pick up some nearby twigs that would be good for kindling.

“Because, Mer-lin,” Arthur retorted, “I am the crown prince and hier apparent and one day I shall be king of Camelot and you are just an idiot serva…” Arthur stopped dead and looked down at Merlin.

Arthur could just make out Merlin’s huge eyes from where he was crouched as he looked up at him in the dark as they both realised what he was saying. 

And then the memories started. It was as if a flood gate had opened in their minds and the memories engulfed them. They became so strong that they both cried out as Merlin fell back and lay looking at the trees as Arthur fell to his hands and knees next to him on the ground. Their eyes open wide but not seeing what was in front of them. They only saw the scenes playing out in their minds and they remembered everything.

Merlin remembered growing up in the village with Hunith and struggling to control his magic and Arthur remembered growing up as a spoilt arrogant prince.

They remembered Merlin coming to Camelot and his first meeting with the prince. They remembered Gaius and Gwen and Morgana and Uther. They remembered the knights and Uther’s death. And how Arthur had married Gwen and how Morgana had found her magic and betrayed them. They remembered how Mordred had grown up and joined the Knights and they remembered how he had stabbed Arthur at Camalan and how Merlin had told him of his magic at last. Arthur remembered how his best friend had held him in his arms as he felt the life ebbing away. He remembered feeling Merlin almost willing him not to die and he remembered all the things he wanted to say that he didn’t have the strength for. He remembered feeling Merlin’s pain as he took his last breath and Merlin remembered that pain as if it were yesterday and he cried out again for his King as the tears ran down his cheeks.

Then Merlin remembered waiting. He stayed on the shores unable to leave, unable to say goodbye until Sir Percival had found him. Dear gentle Percy. And he and the big knight had cried together for Arthur and Gwaine and all their fallen friends. Percy had tried to make him come back to Camelot and Merlin promised that he would follow in a few days as Percy had left to tell the Queen of her husband’s death.

Still Merlin couldn’t leave. He sat and waited by the shores. A few days turned into a week, then a week into two, then a month had gone by and still Merlin waited as his sorrow consumed him.

After six weeks Sir Leon arrived. He bought Merlin food and he told him all the news of Camelot.

“Please come home.” Leon said. “The queen needs you Merlin, Gaius needs you. We all miss you Merlin. Arthur wouldn’t want you to pine away for him here alone.” 

Merlin shook his head. “I can’t Leon. It’s not my home if he is not there. Please don’t make me.”

And then Leon started shouting at him.

“Do you think you are the only one hurting Merlin? Do you think you are the only one who cares?” he yelled as he pulled Merlin to his feet and made him look at him.

“I can’t believe how selfish you are being. We all loved him Merlin but life has to go on. We need to move forward and not waste all his good work.”

Merlin pulled away from Leon’s grip and for the first time let his anger at himself rip through him.  
He clenched his fists to his side and told Leon what he was trying to ignore, what he was trying to keep from everyone including himself.

“It’s my fault.” He shouted as loud as his voice would let him. “I killed him Leon. How can I look Gwen in the eye when I know that I killed him.” he shouted.

Leon visibly relaxed as he looked at the shaking form in front of him and he rushed forward and pulled Merlin into his arms and held him tight as Merlin struggled against him.

“I don’t want your pity Leon,” he shouted, “didn’t you hear me; I told you it’s my fault. I killed him.”

“I can’t believe that Merlin, and if it is true, don’t you think you owe it to Gwen to tell her what happened.” Merlin stopped struggling and held on to the front of Leon’s tunic and buried his face against the Pendragon crest on his chest as Leon held him.

“Come home,” Leon said again. “Come home and stand trial for these apparent crimes. Let the Queen decide if you are guilty, then maybe you can both move on.” 

Merlin looked at him, his face wet with tears and he saw that Leon was right. All he had to do was stand in front of the court and tell them all that he was a sorcerer. Then he would tell them how his mistakes and his alone, over the last ten years had led to Arthur’s death. The queen would have no choice but to sentence him to death. It meant he wouldn’t be around when Arthur returned but that might not be for a million years and he would be dead by then any way. 

He nodded to Leon and they made their way back to Camelot only stopping for Merlin to return Excalibur to the stone that Arthur had once pulled it from. During their journey Merlin pin pointed the three biggest mistakes he had made that had ended in the battle at Camalan.

*

As he knelt in the throne room in front of the court and Queen Gweniviere he almost felt a peace come over him. Now everyone would know what he was. There would be no more hiding. He was just glad that he had already told Arthur.

“Sir Leon tells me that you have certain crimes you wish to confess to the court Merlin,” she said calmly, almost as if she were humouring a small child. Merlin nodded. “Then proceed.” She said with a small encouraging smile on her lips.

Merlin took a deep breath and said;

“I am the sorcerer Emrys, the last of the dragon lords and I killed King Arthur Pendragon.”

There was a ripple of gasps from around the council chambers. A few people laughed at the idea of Merlin, Arthur’s bumbling servant being a great sorcerer but it was Gwen’s reaction that shocked Merlin the most as she smiled fondly at him.

“I know who you are Merlin.” She said kindly, “I’m afraid Gaius has filled me in with a few details. What I need to know is why it is that you think you killed Arthur, the man you have spent the last ten years protecting and guiding. The man who was your best friend. Tell me that Merlin.”

Merlin nearly lost his composure, not just because Gwen already knew who he was but because she had acknowledged that they were indeed friends in front of the whole court and not just master and servant. He felt tears prickle at the back of his eyes and he took another deep breath.

“Many years ago,” he began, trying to make his voice sound clear and calm, “there was a small druid boy that came to Camelot with his father. His father was killed and the boy injured. I helped him escape the guards and the Lady Morgana helped me to look after him. I was warned by the great dragon Kilgarrah, that Uther held captive beneath the castle that the boy would one day be Arthur’s down fall.” 

Merlin felt the first tear fall down his cheek as he continued his story. 

“He warned me not to let the boy live, but he was just a boy, I thought the dragon was wrong. I thought I knew better even though the dragon was adamant and I helped Arthur let him escape. I thought that the boy would be grateful to the prince for saving him. I thought that even if he did mean to kill Arthur in the future that I would have time to stop it. I was wrong, I was so wrong. It was that boy, Mordred that delivered the mortal blow that… killed…our King, as it was foretold.”

Merlin took a breath. He tried to keep from crying in earnest but a gasping sob came from his throat as he held a hand over his mouth to try to keep himself quiet.

“Merlin,” Gwen said, trying not to crumble in front of the council “You cannot blame yourself for saving a boy who may or may not have been going to kill the king….”

“I haven’t finished.” Merlin said stopping Gwen mid-sentence. “There is so much more.”  
His knees were starting to hurt as he knelt on the hard wooden floor but he didn’t care. Gwen nodded to him to continue, not trusting her voice to speak.

“There was a man,” Merlin said, through his tears “He came to Gaius asking for help. He had two parts of a key and needed the third which was held in the castle vaults. He said it was the key to finding a dragon egg. An egg hidden and locked away so that it would never be found without the three parts of the key. Gaius being a much wiser man than me refused to help, but again thinking I knew better, I helped the man and we stole the final part. He said we would find the egg together. He said he would set it free, but he had lied to me and wanted to keep the dragon for himself, he wanted the power and glory of owning a dragon. Arthur and I and the knights followed and I let the man die so that I could get the egg. I lied to Arthur; I said it had been lost, destroyed as the tower that housed it collapsed. Then I brought it here to Camelot and I, as the last dragon lord, called it forth. I gave it a name so that it could live. I left it in the care of Kilgarrah but somehow Morgana befriended it. It was no mortal sword that Mordred used to kill Arthur. If it had been I may have been able to save him, but it was a sword forged in a dragon’s breath.” 

Merlin stopped again, overcome with sorrow as his shoulders shook and his tears flowed.

“If I hadn’t been so selfish Morgana couldn’t have made that sword. I just wanted it to be free. I wanted it to be able to take to the skies and fly as it was meant to. I didn’t want it to be locked in a tower until the end of time. I wanted Kilgarrah to not be alone, to not be the last of his kind.” He said choking on the words.

The room was silent for a moment apart from Merlin’s sobs. Until Leon spoke up.

“But Merlin,” he said softly, “You just said yourself that it was Morgana that made the sword, it was Morgana who gave it to Mordred and it was Morgana who raised the army. It wasn’t you that killed Arthur. It was Morgana.”

There were a few murmurs of assent around the room.

“He is right Merlin,” Gwen said, but Merlin just shook his head.

“You don’t understand,” Merlin said, “Please just let me finish before you pass judgement.”

He took another breath and started again.

“I was once shown a vision in the crystal cave. It showed that Morgana was going to kill Uther with a knife that Arthur gave her for her birthday. I saw what she was going to do and I tried to stop her but she fell down the stairs and hit her head.” He stopped again for a quick breath. 

“I was horrified,” he continued. “I never wanted to hurt her; I only wanted to stop her. I couldn’t let her kill the King. There was nothing Gaius could do and she lay dying. All those that loved her were heartbroken but they didn’t know what she had become. They didn’t know that she was working with Morgause against Camelot, but I knew and I knew I should let her die. But I couldn’t stand the pain that was tearing Uther and Arthur and you apart Gwen. So yet again I went to Kilgarrah and he forbade me to help. He said I was sealing Arthurs fate if I let the witch live. I was so angry with him. He kept calling her witch, but she was my friend. She was my friend and I couldn’t let her die. And I made him, I commanded him to help me and he had no choice. And I saved her.” Merlin sobbed as the tears streamed down his face. “and in doing so I sealed Arthurs fate just as the dragon said. But I thought I could put it right, I thought there would be time. I didn’t think it was all set in stone. I thought that destinies could be re written. But through all my failings, I let Arthur die.”

 

Gwen went to speak again but Merlin just kept on talking. He had forgotten there was a room full of people. He didn’t realise that his feet were completely numb and his knees hurting. 

“Then before the battle, Morgana found a way to take away my magic. I was so scared. I felt so helpless. I had to go and get it back before I could join you at Camalan. If I had just got back quicker. If I had found Mordred sooner, but he had already stabbed Arthur by the time I found them. If I could have got Arthur to Avalon faster he would have been saved. I let him down Gwen, he was my friend and I let him down. He died in my arms and there was nothing I could do to save him.” 

Merlin fell forward on to his forearms and as his head touched the ground he just cried. 

All of those in the council chambers who believed that all magic was evil saw that they had been wrong. As the young sorcerer poured his heart out in front of the council, they saw that there was not an evil thought in his head. He thought he was sealing his death sentence but all he was doing was saving himself and saving Camelot from its hatred of magic. Even though he had told them of all his mistakes, they couldn’t blame him and they certainly couldn’t hate him. They all knew merlin and knew he wasn’t evil. All they saw was a young man who loved his king and who had tried so hard to do the right thing. None of them could question his motives.

And as Merlin sobbed for his dead king, there was hardly a dry eye in the room.

Gwen wiped her eyes and stood up. She squared her shoulders and spoke in a clear calm voice.

“Merlin,” she said, “I thank you for your honesty but you are wrong. Morgana is the only one to blame for Arthur’s death.”

Merlin looked up at her and shook his head.

“No” he said and was going to say more but Gwen stopped him.

“I, Queen Guinevere of Camelot,” she said “Do hear by give Merlin of Ealdor a full pardon for his crimes of sorcery. From this day forward he shall be free to practice magic and shall have the full protection of the crown.”

Merlin knelt up with a look of horror on his face.

“No,” he shouted, “You cannot do this. You cannot pardon me. I will not allow it.”

One of the senior councillors, Lord Roderick stood up and cleared his throat. Merlin suddenly remembered that they were not alone and turned towards the old man.

“The Queen has spoken young man.” He said, “There is nothing you can do about it.”

And Merlin knew he was right. There was nothing he could do unless he wanted to commit treason, but this was Gwen. He looked around the hall and where he was expecting to see fear and loathing, he saw only admiration and hope.

He shook his head again and said quietly, “Please Gwen.” But he didn’t really know what he was asking for.

Gwen looked around the room until she found Gaius.

“Gaius, would you be as kind to escort Merlin to his room please.”

“Of course your highness” Gaius replied, walking to Merlin’s side. Merlin hadn’t realised Gaius had been there but right now he could not have been more pleased to see him.

“Gaius,” he whispered as the old man helped him to his feet.

“Come on my boy,” he said gently as he led Merlin from the room. Merlin was exhausted and could hardly walk but Gaius managed to hold him up enough to make a dignified exit.

“I thought I would be executed.” Merlin said as they walked away from the chambers.

“I know,” said Gaius. “So did I.” he laughed softly.

“I wanted to be executed” Merlin said.

“I know,” said Gaius.

“What am I going to do Gaius?” he asked forlornly.

“You are going to live my boy.” Gaius said as he sat Merlin down on his little bed.

The old man knelt down and took Merlin’s boots off then helped him off with his jacket as Merlin sat quietly. He felt numb.

Gaius went to the main room and came back with a beaker of water and a small glass bottle. He handed him the water first and told him to drink. Merlin hadn’t realised how thirsty he was and he gulped it down.

“Now drink this.” He said giving Merlin the small bottle.

“What is it?” Merlin asked.

“It will help you sleep.” Gaius said.

“I don’t want to sleep Gaius.” 

“I know, but it will make you feel better.”

“But I don’t want to feel better.”

“I know,” Gaius replied “But I want you to feel better Merlin, please drink it. For me.”

So Merlin did and as Gaius gently made him lie down, Merlin fell asleep for the first time since he had lost his best friend.


	6. Chapter 6

Merlin slept solidly for five days and woke up feeling weak and numb. He staggered out to the main room where Gaius was making breakfast. As he looked up and smiled at Merlin, Merlin realised how old and worn out he was looking. He finally saw how Camallan had taken it out of all of them. Gaius had brought Arthur into the world and had been with him his whole life and now he was gone.

Merlin's plan was to leave Camelot as soon as possible but he couldn’t leave Gaius, so he stayed. He stayed nearly, exclusively by Gaius side and if Merlin got on the old man’s nerves he never let on. 

Gwen lifted the ban on magic and tried to make Merlin court sorcerer but he refused. She would often call Merlin to her chambers and make him tell her of all the times he saved Arthur and Camelot. Merlin hated talking about it but it seemed to help Gwen so he did.

About a year after Camallan, Gaius died. He was old and as Merlin did everything he could to save him, Gaius took his hand in his.

“I am old and worn out,” he said to Merlin, “Please let me die.” And Merlin could deny the old man nothing so he sat quietly with him until Gaius took his last shuddering breath. 

Merlin felt the second piece of his heart break away.

Merlin packed after the funeral and went to say his goodbyes to Gwen. She was doing so well as Queen and Merlin was pleased to see Leon was always by her side.

“I knew you would leave once Gaius was gone,” she said to him, “But please reconsider. Please stay Merlin.” 

But Merlin just shook his head. 

“I will always be here if Camelot needs me,” he told her, “but I cannot live here anymore. I want to travel, I want to search out other magic users and learn what I can from them. I want to be better at healing. I can bring down the skies and draw power from the land, I can create and I can destroy, but I am truly rubbish at healing.” he said with a sad smile. He also wanted to look for Arthur. He never told anyone that Kilgarrah said Arthur would return. He kept that secret to himself. He didn’t want anyone else’s life to be ruined waiting for him.

So they hugged and he left.

But Merlin was true to his word. He was always there when he was needed. Gwen both looked forward to his visits and hated them as it always meant there would be trouble. He never stayed long after the danger was over and returned to the search for his King.

During this time his mum died and the next piece of his heart broke away. 

In time Gwen married Leon and ten years after Arthur died, she gave birth to a baby boy. They called the baby Arthur in memory of the late King and Merlin wondered if it was him and he rushed to Camelot as soon as he heard the news.

Gwen was so pleased to see him and placed the baby in his arms. As he held the tiny bundle he knew it wasn’t Arthur. He could tell straight away. 

He had never held a baby before and he fell instantly in love. As the baby wiggled and poked its tiny tongue out, Merlin laughed and Gwen looked at Leon and cried. It was the first time she had heard Merlin laugh since a long time before Arthur’s death. 

This time Merlin stayed. He played with the baby and as he grew he taught him to read and to write as Leon taught him to fight and to lead. Merlin became his unofficial mentor and would tell him tales about the great king Arthur and his undervalued servant. He would always play up Arthur’s roles in the adventures and the boy grew up wanting to be just like him. When questioned, Merlin would say he stuck around to stop the boy growing into an arrogant prat like his name-sake. 

Over time Merlin took up a place in court. He sat beside Gwen at the round table and became unofficial court sorcerer and though he still waited for the hole in his heart to be filled with the return of his king, Merlin was almost content. 

As the years rolled on Merlin realised that as those around him were aging, he was not and people started to comment, so he used Leon as a guide and gradually allowed himself to age as Leon did. 

Then Leon died and yet again there was nothing Merlin could do to save him, though he tried. Another piece of Merlin’s heart broke away and he wondered how much more of it there was left.

Gwen seemed to give up herself after Leon died and she wasted away and died not long after. Merlin felt that his heart was now almost too small to beat. 

Though King Arthur II was young, barely twenty, he had good men around him and he had Merlin so still the realm flourished. 

But then a sickness swept through the land and young Arthur became gravely ill and Merlin yet again found himself powerless to save the young king. As he laid on his sick bed with Merlin, and his most trusted knight and advisor, Sir Thomas, Arthur reminded Merlin of a story the sorcerer had once told him.

“The sword in the stone,” he said weakly, “Didn’t you once tell me that the true King of Camelot would be able to pull it from the stone? That your Arthur did it?”

Merlin didn’t have the heart to tell him that he had made the whole thing up to give his Arthur confidence and that it was he himself who had put the sword there and he who had released it for Arthur.

“Yes my lord,” Merlin said quietly as he replaced the damp cloth on the dying king’s forehead with a fresh one.

“Then my last decree is that whoever can pull the sword from the stone shall be king. Anyone who wishes is to be given a chance to try. Young or old, rich or poor and if a king from a neighbouring land succeeds then he is to be given Camelot. All the court and Knights must swear fealty to whoever holds the sword.” 

Merlin did have to admit that it was quite a good idea of young Arthur’s. It would give Camelot time to sort its self out. It would stop rival kings attacking straight away as they would try their hand at the sword first. So a document was drawn up and signed and witnessed and sealed just as the king drew his last breath.

Merlin’s whole world fell apart. 

He stayed because he didn’t really know what else to do. He wandered around the walls of the city just looking, searching and waiting for his king to ride over the draw bridge.

 

Sir Thomas who had been given the role of regent until a new king could be found called Merlin to his chambers one evening.

“I can see you are not happy here Merlin,” Thomas had said, “I wonder if I could ask you to go to the stone. I would like you to be the one to welcome any successful candidate and bring them back to the citadel.”

As Merlin couldn’t think of anything else to do with himself he agreed and left the next day.

The challenge was turning out to be very popular. People were coming from far and wide to have a go and it proved to be a good distraction for Merlin, if nothing else.

He found he enjoyed sitting on the bank and watching as people queued up to take their turn. Everyone knew that he was the old white haired sorcerer from Camelot and he was treated well and with great respect. People would bring him food and were always making sure he was comfortable. He found he enjoyed telling small children (and anyone else who wanted to listen) tales of magic and monsters and kings from long ago. 

Then one morning he awoke with a strange feeling in his chest. As he emerged from his little tent into the weak early morning sun, he knew Arthur was on his way. He wasn’t sure if it would be that day but he knew it would be soon. He just had to be patient. Arthur would come.

Merlin didn’t know if Arthur would look like his Arthur or if he would be in a new body. He hoped he would be exactly the same. He knew that he would know him even if he had a new face. He took to wandering amongst the groups of people arriving or standing behind the stone as people took their turns, then he could see the people in the queue as they waited for their chance to be king.

A few days after he awoke to the feeling in his chest, Merlin was standing in his favourite spot watching the queue. There had been great excitement that morning as a group of impressive looking knights had arrived from a kingdom far to the north. Each knight was waiting their turn with their squire behind them. As each knight failed their squire would take their turn before moving off. 

As Merlin studied the waiting knights he saw a blonde head bob out from behind one of the knights and as the knight turned around to speak to the boy, there he was.

Merlin felt his heart swell and fill his chest. It was so full he thought it would burst through his rib cage and he could hardly breathe.

It was Arthur. He was tiny, but it was defiantly Arthur. He must have been about ten or eleven years old and was obviously not fed overly well. His clothes hung on his skinny frame and he had a look of wariness about him. 

Merlin couldn’t take his eyes off him. He looked like a scared rabbit. He was saying something to his knight that Merlin didn’t catch. The knight laughed and pushed him in front of him. It was nearly their turn and Merlin heard the knight say to him, “You go first Art, show us all how it’s done” as he ruffled Arthur’s hair. Arthur twisted round and gave the knight a very familiar glare that made Merlin laugh as tears prickled in the back of his eyes.

Then it was Arthur’s turn and he stepped up nervously. As someone put the box down that they were using for small people, Arthur’s eyes met Merlin’s and Merlin froze. There was no recognition in the boy’s eyes at all and Merlin felt his heart stutter a little.

Then as Arthur’s hand closed around the hilt of the sword he gave a little gasp as a golden light began swirling round his hand. A sudden stillness came over the waiting crowd as all eyes were on the small boy.

Merlin thought he would have to use his magic to release the sword as he had done before, but the sword new his master and all Merlin needed to do was watch in awe with the rest of the crowd.

Arthur gripped the sword and he took a deep breath and pulled. The sword came away as if he was pulling it from a chunk of cheese as the golden light engulfed his small body.

The whole crowd looked on in awe and amazement and slowly people began to kneel as Arthur held the sword above his head, just as he had done all those years ago. Everyone knew that the new King of Camelot had been chosen and most instantly accepted this young boy as their new sovereign.

“Long live the king.” Someone shouted and a chorus of chanting came from the crowd as they cheered for the new king.

As the golden light faded and Arthur lowered the sword, he suddenly turned and looked at Merlin and then just as suddenly he was running. He tucked the sword into his belt which dragged along the floor as he ran, and threw himself into Merlin’s arms.

“It’s me Merlin.” He cried as Merlin caught him “It’s me, it’s Arthur. I remember, I remember Merlin. I have come back.” And Merlin wrapped his arms round his small king and hugged him tight.

“I know, sire,” he said quietly “I missed you.”

Arthur pulled back a little to look up at his sorcerer.

“You are such a girl Mer-lin,” Arthur laughed and Merlin couldn’t help but to laugh with him “And you my lord, are a clotpole .” Merlin replied as they hugged each other again. 

As their laughter subsided Merlin heard Arthur say in a small voice, “Thank you for waiting for me Merlin.” 

Merlin felt like the happiest man alive.

 

*

 

Arthur rode into Camelot at the front of a huge procession. They had been followed back by hordes of people and were joined on the way by more. The streets were full of even more people and were decorated with bunting and flowers and his people were cheering.

Merlin was by his side and it felt like old times. This was the hero’s welcome he would get when returning from defeating some beast or other. He was glad to be home, where he belonged.

Though Arthur was happy, it was hard. He missed everyone. He missed Gwen and Gaius and all his knights, he missed young stable hands and even grumpy Geoffrey from the library. At least Merlin was there.

It was also hard having all King Arthur’s memories and experience trapped in the body of a young boy who had only ever held a sword to give it to his knight. He sometimes got so frustrated with himself. His mind new how to fight, but his young muscles were yet to develop the strength and wouldn’t do what he wanted them to. But Merlin was always there with encouraging words. 

Though everyone accepted him it was hard to convince them that he knew what he was talking about. Though his advisors tried to treat him like a king and not a small child, he often found them contradicting him. He would get angry though he tried not to. There were rumours that he was King Arthur reincarnated but no-one really knew if he was and Arthur himself stayed quiet about it. 

He hadn’t been on the throne long when the new king of Mercia decided to attack and take Camelot for himself. It was the best thing that could happen as Arthur was struggling with command.

Though he had the body of a child he had the mind of a brilliant tactician and warrior. Camelot still had an army of knights that any kingdom would be jealous of. They also had Merlin, the most powerful sorcerer in all of Albion and Arthur knew how to use them all to the best of their advantage.

Arthur drew up plans and gave orders with such authority, an authority that just oozed from him now he was in his element. Merlin was so proud to see the Knights and advisors responding as they would have done all those years ago and through Arthurs command they easily defeated the foolish king. 

It made the whole of Camelot stand up and believe in their new young king. He had proved himself worthy of the title of King and protector. From that day on things got easier for the young boy.

Arthur trained hard. He worked his young body every day. He trained with the knights and forbade them to show him any mercy. As he grew, he grew strong and lean and he started to look like the man Merlin had first met all those years ago.

Merlin didn’t realise it but as Arthur grew older, he began to get younger. The change was so gradual and Merlin hadn’t noticed it himself. Then one day at super Arthur looked up at him and said “Merlin I swear you are looking younger. When did your hair get so dark again?”

Merlin was taken aback and held out his hands to study them. Sure enough they were no longer an old man’s hands. Arthur stood up to fetch a mirror and handed it to his sorcerer who gingerly looked at himself. It wasn’t something he often did and sure enough it was a younger version of himself that looked back. He was about the same age as Leon had been when he started to age himself.

“Sorry, Sire,” he said “I didn’t realise I was doing it.” And he began to get older again.

“No Wait Merlin,” Arthur said, “I like it, please don’t stop.” And Merlin could deny Arthur nothing so carried on as he had been.

By the time Arthur was 18, Merlin looked the same as he had when Arthur had first met him, Arthur watched Merlin as they made preparations for the Kings Birthday banquet and decided that tonight was the night.

After the feast, Merlin escorted his king back to his chambers as he usually did. Arthur had given his current servant the night off to enjoy the festivities and as they entered the room Merlin slipped effortlessly into his old role. He lit the candles and turned down the bed and just as he was searching through Arthur’s wardrobe for clean night wear Arthur spoke up.

“You don’t have to do that Merlin,” He said.

Merlin looked over and smiled at him, “I know” he said as he laid the night wear on the bed. 

“Can we talk?” Arthur asked as he went and sat on the end of his bed next to where Merlin had laid the clothes.

“What do you want to talk about sire?” Merlin asked as he pottered around the room tidying up as he went.

“Camallan,” Arthur said and Merlin froze as a shiver went down his spine. They had discussed everything from the past. There were no longer secrets between them but they didn’t often discuss those last few days of Arthur’s past life.

Merlin turned to Arthur and said, “We have had such a lovely day, do we have to spoil it now?”

“It’s my birthday Merlin,” Arthur replied smiling. “Indulge me.”

“Fine” said Merlin and he slunk down into a chair by the table. Someone had left a jug of watered wine and two goblets and Merlin filled one and took a swig. He held it out to Arthur who joined him at the table and drank from the goblet before handing it back.

“That night,” Arthur started. “I didn’t mean ‘thank you’. I mean I did but that’s not what I wanted to say.” He shifted in his chair a little as he held Merlin’s gaze. “What I wanted to say Merlin was that… was that” and taking a deep breath he said what he had wanted to say the day he met Merlin.

“I love you.” 

Merlin’s eyes grew wide.

“Why didn’t you?” he asked quietly.

“Because,” Arthur said, “there was so much more to say that I didn’t have the strength for and because I didn’t know if you would want to hear it. I didn’t know if it would help. I was dying and didn’t have to live with the consequences. You had to live and I didn’t know if you felt the same.”

Merlin's mouth had gone dry and he took another swig of the wine. His heart was pounding in his chest and he wanted to hear more.

“What else would you have said if you had the strength.” He asked quietly wondering if Arthur would tell him now after all these years.

Arthur smiled, his own heart beating heavily in his chest. This was it, he was finally going to tell Merlin how he felt.

“I wanted to tell you that I loved you from that day in the market place. That day when you stood up to me, even though you knew who I was. You were so rude. It was brilliant and the way you smiled at me made my stomach flip.” He smiled again at the memory.

“But,” he continued, “I was the prince of Camelot and heir to the throne. I was expected to marry and have an heir of my own. Princes aren’t supposed to fall in love with common urchins and certainly not male ones.” He looked up at Merlin and said, “No offence,”

“None taken,” Merlin said.

“So I buried it,” he said “I ignored my feelings but it was so hard, Merlin, you are so dammed beautiful. You brightened every day and I never wanted to be apart from you and the only way I could cope was being horrible to you. Pushing you away, but I was so glad you never left.”

Arthur took a breath and Merlin went to say something but Arthur held up his hand to stop him,

“Please let me finish,” he said, “I have waited a long time and I need to explain my actions to you. I married Gwen because I was expected to marry someone. Don’t get me wrong Merlin, I loved her but not as much as I loved you. And do you know the things I loved about her most were the things that reminded me of you. The way she stood up to me. She wouldn’t tell me what she thought I wanted to hear and she would put me in my place. 

The thing is Merlin” he continued “I always thought there would be time. I always thought we could sort something out. I always thought that someday I would be able to tell you and we could be together. I thought that one day I would be able to take you to my bed and never let you go. But I never knew if you felt the same. Sometimes I thought you did and I’m sorry if now I have ruined everything between us but I still want you Merlin.” 

And there it was said. There was no going back. His mouth was dry and he felt sick. If he had ruined their friendship then he would just have to try and work something out. 

Merlin was watching him intently and for once Arthur found he couldn’t read him. He needed to know what was going on in his mind.

“I’m afraid it wasn’t the same for me Arthur,” Merlin said at long last and Arthur’s heart sank.

“I hated you on that first day in the market place. I hated everything you stood for and I couldn’t believe that I was lumbered with working for you.”

Arthur looked down at his hands and tried to hold back tears as Merlin continued.

“But that first morning when I brought you your breakfast, you were sound asleep and you looked golden in the early morning sun. You looked so perfect and I think I fell a little bit in love with you then.”

Arthur looked up at him and Merlin was smiling. “You were still a prat mind,” he said “but as I got to know you Arthur, I started falling a little bit further each day.”

Merlin slipped from his chair and knelt on the floor in front of Arthur and rested his hands on Arthur’s knees as he looked up at his king. Arthur held out a hand and gently brushed his thumb over Merlin’s cheek bone. It was an action he fought against every day and it was such a relief to be able to finally do it.

“But” Merlin continued, “the moment that I knew I loved you and would do anything for you was when you tried to take that poisoned goblet off me. I could see that you really didn’t want me to drink it and I knew then that I would happily die for you and I’m sorry Arthur but I’m afraid I am going to have to kiss you now”

Stretching up he brushed his lips against Arthur’s and Arthur gave a small groan as his eyes slid shut and he leant in further against Merlin’s warm, soft lips. Arthurs hand came up a curled around the back of Merlin’s neck gently pulling him closer as Merlin's hands slid up Arthur’s legs and rested on Arthur’s waist.

They poured decade’s worth of held back emotions into that kiss as it gradually changed from a sweet gentle kiss to a hot urgent passionate one. It wasn’t long before Arthur led Merlin to his bed and Merlin gave him the best birthday present he had ever had. 

After that night they never slept alone again.

They ruled side by side and the whole of Camelot flourished and over time they did indeed unite all of Albion. They forged alliances and brought peace to the land. 

They grew old together but unfortunately Arthur couldn’t live forever.

His body eventually gave up and as he lay dying in the bed he and Merlin had shared, Merlin held his hand and smiled down at his beautiful king. Even as an old man, Merlin could see Arthurs beauty and he still shone in Merlin’s eyes.

“Wait for me?” Arthur said.

Merlin shook his head as he climbed up beside Arthur to hold him in his arms. He couldn’t wait again. He couldn’t live without Arthur and he had no intention even trying.

“Not this time Arthur,” he said. “If destiny hasn’t finished with us yet it will just have to work out another way to bring us together.” 

Arthur nodded and closed his eyes as he wrapped his arms round his friend, lover, sorcerer and they took their last breath together.

When the court physician came in later, it took him a while to work out who the slender, dark haired, young man was who's body was entwined with the dead king.


	7. Chapter 7

As the memories receded, Arthur found himself lying face down on the damp forest floor. He desperately looked round in the gloom to find Merlin. He was on his back a little way away and Arthur scrambled over to his side.

“Merlin?” he said as he stroked his sorcerer’s cheek. “Merlin can you hear me?”

Merlin's eyes were staring unseeing into the tree canopy, still lost in the memories that had flooded their minds.

Arthur reasoned that Merlin had more to remember and he curled his body alongside Merlin’s to try and share what little body heat he had. It was nearly dawn and the dew had settled on them as they had been lost to the woods around them. Arthur was frozen and could feel that Merlin was too as he lay panting slightly on the ground.

As Arthur tried to make sense of everything, he looked around and realised that he knew where they were. They were in probably the last little bit of Camelot, near the border of Cenred’s kingdom, not far from Ealdor. The woods had been trying to keep them there. It wanted them to remember.

Arthur felt Merlin stir under his arm and he sat up to gather Merlin into his lap. Merlin took a deep breath and wrapped his arms round Arthur pulling them tightly together.

“Do you remember?” Merlin asked in the quietest voice.

“Yes I remember,” Arthur whispered into Merlin's hair and they just held each other, shivering in their damp clothes. It had been a warm afternoon when they had set out and they were only wearing thin shirts with their jeans.

“We need to get back, sire,” Merlin said after what seemed like the longest time. “I’m so cold.”

Arthur finally let go of Merlin and sat back on his knees as he studied Merlin a look of shock and confusion on his face. Merlin was sure it mirrored his own expression. 

“We can’t be can we?” Arthur asked but he knew they were. He knew they hadn’t gone mad.

Merlin nodded. “I think we are, don’t you?”

Arthur nodded.

“Do you still have it?” he asked quietly. It was the one question Merlin didn’t really want to know the answer to but at least they would know if it was true.

Merlin scrambled on to his knees and cupping his hands whispered words that were so familiar to both of them.

Arthur saw as Merlin's eyes swirled gold and as he opened his hand, there was the flame that Arthur knew would be there. He found himself holding out his own hands to warm them on the tiny fire as if it was the most natural thing in the world. 

“That’s nice,” he said as he felt the heat against his cold fingers.

Looking up at Merlin he saw that Merlin was looking gobsmacked at what he had just done and so easily.

Arthur pulled back his hands and stood up shakily.

“Let’s get back,” he said, holding out his hand to help Merlin up.

Merlin closed his hands extinguishing the flame and let Arthur help him up. They fell into another embrace as Arthur pulled Merlin to his feet. Arthur heard Merlin whisper a few words and his clothes were suddenly dry. Then in silence they made their way back to the caravan, their fingers entwined together, each lost in their own thoughts.

It was nearly light by the time they got back and as Helen heard them let their selves into the caravan, she jumped out of bed.

She was cross. She knew they were adults and that they were probably safe as they were together but they could at least have rung if they weren’t coming back. She had tried to phone them but they had their phones switched off.

She pulled on a robe and swept out of her room to give them a piece of her mind but was pulled up short by the sight of them.

They seemed to be covered in mud and they were both shaking. Arthur looked as pale as Merlin normally did and Merlin looked as pale as a porcelain sink. They both had dark rings under their eyes and looked like they were in shock.

Arthur looked at her as she walked into the room and attempted a small smile but didn’t really pull it off before he looked worriedly over at Merlin. Merlin didn’t even seem to notice her as he looked out of the big bay window.

“What on earth happened?” she said as she rushed over to them. “Are you okay?”

Arthur let go of Merlin’s hand as Merlin noticed his mum was there and his attention focused slowly on her before sliding sideways to Arthur.

“Merlin?” She said holder his chin and making him look at her. His eyes were glassy and he seemed to be having problems focusing. Helen pulled him into a hug and looked over at Arthur who seemed to be doing no better.

“Arthur, what on earth has happened.” She demanded as she tried to hold Merlin tight enough to stop him shaking.

“We got lost?” he said as his legs gave out and he sat down heavily on the sofa. Helen saw he was shaking as much as Merlin.

“In the woods, all night?” she asked, “You can’t get lost up there all night.” She said getting cross.

She pushed Merlin down on the sofa next to Arthur and went to the bed room and fetching two blankets wrapped one round each of them. She pulled over the small coffee table and sat down in front of them. They both looked at her and knew they needed to tell her something but they didn’t know what to say.

“Mum,” Merlin began but didn’t know what else to say.

“Can one of you please tell me what happened? Has someone hurt you?” Helen asked, “Did you take something you shouldn’t have?” She was trying desperately to think of what could have happened.

“We got lost,” Merlin said as Arthur looked at him “and then….. it was morning…. and we were cold..” he looked around the room as he spoke. He seemed confused and he was scaring her. 

Helen turned to Arthur who looked down at the floor. He wanted to hold Merlin in his arms and go to sleep but he couldn’t do that with Helen glaring at him and waiting for answers.

“Nothing happened.” Arthur said lamely. “We are fine.”

“You are shaking like a leaf, Arthur.” She said more softly

“Just cold.” Merlin said and Helen almost let herself believe that was all it was. They had got lost, spent the night in the woods and got cold, but she knew there was more to it than that.

“I shall make some tea,” she said as went over to the breakfast bar. They did seem to be calming down a little now they were wrapped in blankets. She kept watching them as she made the tea. Arthurs eyes were drooping and she didn’t think he would stay awake long enough to drink it. Merlin was lost in his own thoughts again, staring out of the window. She had never known her son so quiet.

Once they had drunk their tea, a little colour had re-appeared in their cheeks and Merlin seemed to be a little more focused. They both looked exhausted and she sent them off to sleep telling them she would wake them for breakfast in a few hours. 

 

They didn’t even shut the bedroom door or take off their muddy clothes as they fell on to their beds still wrapped in the blankets and were asleep in seconds. Helen took off their shoes as they slept and found two more blankets to put over them. She brushed her son’s hair from his forehead and gave him a small kiss as she left them to sleep.

Arthur woke up to the smell of bacon cooking and looked over to see Merlin still sound asleep. Merlin. The Merlin. The Merlin from the legends. The Merlin from the books in the box under his bed. King Arthur’s Merlin, his Merlin. 

Arthur untangled himself from the blankets and went to the kitchen.

“You look better,” Helen said though he still looked pale and a bit shell shocked.

“Yeah, feel better. Sorry if we scared you earlier” Arthur said sheepishly. “We did get lost.”

“Hmmm,” Helen said eyeing him suspiciously. “Go and get out of those muddy clothes and jump in the shower.” She said

Arthur looked down at his rumpled clothes. He was a bit of a mess and he went off to do as he was told.

Merlin woke up whilst Arthur was in the shower and panicked. He ran into the kitchen.

“Where is he?” He asked

“Don’t panic Merlin,” Helen said studying her son “He is only in the shower,” and she saw as Merlin visibly relaxed. He looked better too.

“Are you going to tell me what happened last night?” she asked as she broke eggs into a pan.

“Probably not.” He said truthfully. He wanted to. He always told her everything but how could he possibly tell her this. Oh yeah by the way mum, I am actually the most powerful sorcerer to ever live and the man I love is the actual King Arthur that nobody thinks was real. But he was.

“Ahh,” she said “so you admit something happened.” She said as cut thick slices of bread.

Merlin looked at her a sighed. “Yes” he said as he put the kettle on and Helen let it drop. For now.

 

Once Merlin and Arthur were both showered and dressed in clean clothes they all sat down to eat. The boys were starving and they ate greedily.

Helen sat back.

“So,” she said, “Something happened.”

Arthur looked at her under his fringe. He really wanted to tell her. He really wanted to tell someone and there was no-one else that he knew that they could tell. 

“Merlin let it slip that something happened, but says he won’t tell me.” 

Arthur sat back and looked at Merlin,

“This is massive Merlin,” He said, “We can’t keep this to ourselves, we will explode. We have to have someone else we can talk to about this.”

“Are you mad? Yes this is massive which is exactly why we can’t say anything. We will be locked up.” Merlin said trying very hard to stay calm.

“We have never had secrets Merlin.” Helen said quietly. “Whatever it is I will understand.” She wasn’t sure that that was true. She had struggled with the whole ‘I’m moving in with man I hardly know’ thing and this was obviously much worse.

“Are you sure, Arthur,” Merlin asked. “Because once it’s said we can’t unsay it. This is really what you want?”

“Only if you want.” Arthur said and the scary thing was that Merlin really did.

“Fine,” he said, running his hand through his hair and taking a deep breath he told her.

When he struggled to explain bit’s Arthur took over for a while and between them they told her basically what had happened during the night and a highly edited version of their past lives.

As they spoke Helen got up to make a new pot of tea, still listening and trying to work out what the hell she was going to do.

They were clearly both delusional. What was this, some kind of localised mass hysteria? Maybe their relationship had happened too fast and too intensely and it had fried their minds. Fed by their childhood obsessions they must have invented this strange fantasy. They obviously believed everything they were saying. Perhaps they had just eaten some dodgy mushrooms that they had found in the woods. Or maybe there were some hallucinogenic spores in the air up there like on the X-files. God they had her at it now too. How expensive were good psychiatrists? Maybe Mr Pende would pay. 

The boys were drawing to a close and were looking at her, trying to work out her reaction. Merlin was pleased that she seemed to be taking it all very calmly.

She brought the tea pot over and put it on the table, sitting back down and looking from one to the other. She didn’t really know where to start.

“You do know that none of that is true, don’t you?” she asked calmly.

Arthur’s head fell forward and Merlin threw his arms up in the air, pushing away from the table.

“I told you she wouldn’t believe us. Now she thinks were mad.” Merlin shouted.

Arthur just looked calmly at him.

“Just show her,” he said and for a moment Merlin looked confused. “Show her,” Arthur said again.

Merlin looked at his mum and cocked his head to one side considering.

“’kay,” he said and straightening his shoulders he held out his hand towards the teapot. He didn’t need to incant for this he just let his magic flow and carefully poured the tea into the three mugs.

Helen looked on in amazement. She saw as her son’s eyes swirled gold. She thought she had imagined it but then the tea pot began to rise on its own. Merlin poured three mugs more carefully than he could ever have done by hand. His face looked so calm, almost serene. He was so clumsy normally and she could see now that this was how he was meant to do things.

Her beautiful son who she had called Martin and how had somehow found his own name was The Merlin. She had often wondered how he looked nothing like either her or his father or any of his grandparents and now she knew why. He was Merlin. Her son was Merlin and she suddenly panicked.

“You must never tell anyone else Merlin!” she said as Merlin let the pot drift back to the table. “Promise me, you too Arthur. This has to stay secret.”

“We know,” said Arthur, “Merlin’s good at keeping it secret. He kept it from me for ten years whilst using it around me all the time, like an idiot. I have never had to hide it before but I will never let any harm come to him so my lips are sealed. I just knew we could trust you.”

Helen looked at him as he spoke and she saw it. He was King Arthur. The bloody King Arthur was sitting at the breakfast table in her caravan drinking her tea. 

And laughing she got up and hugged them both.


	8. Chapter 8

After the excitement of the weekend, life just got back to normal straight away with the one difference that Merlin was now living with Arthur which was where he belonged.

Nothing changed at work. They didn’t hide their relationship but they didn’t announce it either and because they still bickered all the time no one noticed. Arthur always went to the gym before work so would leave early and meet Merlin there. Then because he had his new bike that Arthur insisted he needed they would come home separately too.

Merlin still had his Saturday job at the shop because he liked it. Graham had started paying him as he now couldn’t pay him in food and board. Merlin didn’t want to be a completely kept man when he went to Uni.

They made sure they kept their hands off each other at work because they felt it was inappropriate behaviour for the work place and one small touch would lead to wanting more. Arthur did stop going out for a drink after work quite so much which was noticed. After a day of not touching they wanted nothing more than to get home to each other. 

As Merlin hadn’t been using his magic for his whole life so far, he didn’t feel the need to use it much now. Though they did use it from time to time in the bedroom. Merlin realised now that it had always been there. It was the swirly feeling he got in his chest and the itching he got in his fingers when he was nervous or happy. It was probably holding it in that made him pass out after the crash.

One day Steve from the office caught Arthur looking at wedding suits. Arthur knew he shouldn’t be looking as they couldn’t get married for ages yet.

“Is there something you are not telling us Arthur?” he asked. Arthur just said he was going to a wedding and no more was said. He couldn’t tell anyone he was marrying but only because he had yet to tell his father. Then the other Steve caught him looking at wedding venues and instantly everyone believed he had a secret girlfriend. They believed that was the reason that he didn’t go out with them anymore.

Merlin heard it from Grace. She sidled up to him when he was doing the photocopying.

“Do you want to hear something that will make you laugh?” she asked

“Always,” Merlin replied.

“Weeell, it appears that Arthur has a girlfriend and is going to get married.”

Merlin did laugh.

“Who told you that?” he asked.

“It’s common knowledge. Apparently she has him right under her thumb. That’s why he always leaves work on time and won’t come out anymore. Though she works Saturday so that’s when he catches up in here.”

Merlin really did laugh now.

“See,” she said smugly “I said you would find it funny.” And she went off to lunch.

Merlin went straight in to see Arthur. He leant against the door frame and folded his arms.

Arthur looked up and smiled before glaring at him.

“What do you want?” he said.

“Apparently, or so I have been reliably informed, you are getting married to an old dragon who won’t let you out in the evenings.”

Arthur’s mouth fell open. 

“Who on earth told you that.”

“It was Grace but apparently everyone knows. Common knowledge I was told.”

“Shit, I need to tell my father about us before he gets wind of this. He will want to meet the lucky lady.” He shut down his lap top. “Best do it now.”

“Want me to come?” Merlin asked. “Want me to come and enchant him so that he doesn’t mind?”

Arthur laughed,

“Temping,” he said, “but no. It’s not like he is as scary as Uther. He won’t cut your head off so that’s good. See you in a bit; get me a coffee for when I get back.” And with that he was off sprinting towards the lifts.

Arthur nodded to his father’s secretary and knocked on the door as she signalled that he could go in. He refused to be intimidated. He would just tell him the facts and walk out. He was the Once and future king for god’s sake. He had fought armies and dragons. He could face one man.

“Come” he heard his father say and Charles stood up when he saw who it was and smiled to his son to come and sit down.

“That’s okay; I won’t keep you a moment.” Arthur said.

Charles had read an article that said if you wanted to appear friendly you should stand in front of your desk so as he was trying out being more approachable, he perched on the front of his desk.

“How can I help you Arthur?” he asked 

“Father,” Arthur said, “I need to thank you for bringing Merlin into my life as we are now together. He has moved in with me and we plan to marry as soon as he is old enough.” Charles’s face fell as Arthur just kept on talking.

“I wanted you to know before you heard any office gossip. I also want you to know that you will of course be invited to the wedding when it happens and I love you and it would mean the world to me if you came, but I would understand if you felt you couldn’t” and stepping forward he pressed a kiss against his father’s forehead then walked out before Charles could say a word.

As the door shut, Charles decided he would just ignore that for now. He didn’t know what Arthur was playing at because everyone knew he and Merlin didn’t get on. He had caught them bickering just that morning over the best way to file business contacts. Anyway, Merlin was starting University soon and would be out of their hair for good.

*

“What did he say?” Merlin asked as soon as he saw Arthur.

“Nothing.” Arthur shrugged and got on with his work.

“He must have said something.” Merlin said.

“Nope,” Arthur replied. “But that may have been because I walked out before he had a chance to scrape his jaw off the carpet”

“And you call me a girl you big wuss.” Merlin laughed.

A week later Tim from accounts saw Arthur give Merlin a kiss. It was just one kiss and it was small and if Arthur had known any one was watching he would never have done it.

Tim was passing when he caught sight of them. He only stopped to watch as he was wondering how Arthur was planning to annoy the poor boy now. 

Merlin was busy rewriting some hastily taken notes. Arthur had walked up to him where he sat and lifted his chin with his finger so that their eyes met. 

Then Tim saw Arthur slowly lean in and kiss Merlin on the lips. It was the most loving, tender kiss Tim had ever seen. He would never have believed Arthur was capable of such an act. Arthur then turned around and walked away, leaving Merlin smiling fondly after him. 

It had been such an intimate moment and if Grace or even either of the Steve’s had seen it they would have been too embarrassed to admit they had seen such a thing and would never have mentioned it. Unfortunately Tim from accounts was the biggest blabber mouth in the world and by the end of the day everyone knew that Merlin was the secret girlfriend. 

As it wasn’t a secret Merlin and Arthur didn’t deny the rumours. If any one asked they told them that yes they were living together and yes they would be getting married, though not yet. Soon it became old news and everything carried on as before. 

*

The rumour that Arthur had a girlfriend reached Charles about a week after Arthur had told him about Merlin. Charles decided he liked this rumour but it was soon replaced with the one that said Merlin had moved in with his son. Charles still couldn’t believe this. He looked hard for evidence that they actually liked each other and saw none. Not that he spent any time with them. Perhaps he should, he thought.

Then one evening a meeting ran late. There was going to be a big presentation the next day that Charles wanted to ensure would go perfectly. As it drew to a close, Charles kept his son back to go over a few more details. He was tempted to bring up the Merlin topic but decided against it at the last moment. He had been wondering if the large eared fool had been blackmailing his son. That would explain a few things. 

He and Arthur made their way to the lifts, still discussing the next day’s meeting. 

As the doors opened on the ground floor, Arthur stopped dead in his tracks at the sight in front of him.

Merlin taken a half day to go to the dentist and Arthur had no idea he would be there waiting for him. He was sitting on the sofa opposite the lifts across the foyer. Though the sofa was facing the lifts, Merlin was sitting sideways with his back against the arm rest. He had slipped his shoes off and had his legs up on the seat one tucked under the other. He was wearing a jacket that they had found on a vintage stall at the Portabella Rd market. It was probably from the 70s but looked just like the one Merlin had owned when he had first come to Camelot and Arthur loved it when he wore it.

The sun was just setting and Merlin was bathed in a golden light that bounced off his sculptured cheek bones. Merlin’s swimming bag was by the side of the sofa and Merlin’s hair was still wet, and freshly towelled dry. It was getting a little long and it softly curled around those ears that he so loved. Merlin was fully engrossed in the book he was reading and he gently nibbled at the corner of those beautiful red lips.

The sight of Merlin sitting there took Arthurs breath away and he just stood and stared. His mouth had gone dry and his palms sweaty.

Charles had carried on walking but suddenly realised Arthur was no longer by his side. He turned around to see where he had got to and started walking back towards him.

The look on Arthur’s face was something he had never seen before and he struggled to place it. He looked over to see what he was looking at but could only see the dark haired idiot sitting on the sofa.

“Arthur?” he asked, looking back at his son who had brought his fist up to his chest. Arthur was trying to stop his heart beating out through his ribs at the sight of his sorcerer bathed in the evening sun.

“Have you ever seen anything so beautiful?” he breathed in the quietest voice. He had completely forgotten where his was and who he was with.

Charles was taken aback and turned around again to see what he was talking about. It was only then that he realised what his son had seen. It was the man he loved. If Charles had wanted evidence that his son was in love, here it was. He was not pleased.

“Pull yourself together Arthur.” He hissed and Arthur suddenly realised what he had said and to whom.

He looked horrified at his father as his felt his cheeks turn pink and his ears get hot.

Merlin had realised he was no longer alone and had jumped to his feet as soon as he saw Charles and was standing looking sheepish as Charles marched past him, giving him an evil glare as he went by.

“What just happened?” Merlin asked as he walked in over to Arthur, still in just his socks.

“Nothing for you to worry about,” Arthur said as he brushed his thumb over Merlin’s cheek and gave him a kiss. “I’m glad you’re here; now let’s go get some supper.”

 

The next day Charles seemed to have come to terms with the situation a little and he acted normally round Arthur which Arthur was very grateful for.

As time carried on, Merlin stopped working with Arthur and started his student life and though they missed each other during the day, the king and his sorcerer were blissfully happy. 

That is until they started remembering all their other lives. 

Things then went quickly downhill.


	9. Chapter 9

As Merlin was new to London Arthur saw it as his job to make sure they visited all the sights and they visited somewhere new most Sundays.

One Sunday they went to the Imperial War Museum. 

As Arthur was looking over some photos of young men who lost their lives during the Second World War, he came across a photo of himself. Merlin saw as he fell to the floor as the memories flooded his mind and was by his side in seconds. As he grabbed for Arthur’s hand he remembered too.

Arthur had been Merlin's commanding officer and they hated each other. They had only known each other for a month and they didn’t know who they were when Arthur died. Despite this Merlin stayed with him as Arthur’s life ebbed away and as they clung to each other they remembered their past life together.

When Merlin came to his senses again and found Arthur dead in his arms, he took out Arthur’s service gun and shot himself dead.

 

As the memories faded again they found a small group of people around them as well as the War Museums first aider. They had apparently only been out for a few minutes this time and for that they were grateful. They assured the first aider they were fine and quickly left feeling quite embarrassed.

After that it seemed to happen a lot, luckily their blackouts became shorter each time and soon whole life times fed into their heads in a few seconds. It sometimes left them feeling a bit sick and with a bit of a head ache but it was more than manageable. It happened about eight or nine times in the next six months. Some of their lives were so close together that they must have been reborn a few weeks after dying.

They started seeing patterns emerge to their past lives. They nearly always met when they were about the same age. There was always about three or four year’s age difference. They always started hating each other but ended up in bed pretty quickly after they met. Merlin usually somehow managed to save Arthur’s life within the first few days of them meeting which nearly always ended up with him getting a job. 

Merlin usually only knew his mum but twice so far he had met his dad but he wasn’t around for long. Arthur’s mum nearly always died having him and more often than not he had a half-sister. Though the circumstances of their births were mostly the same they always had different parents. They had friends who were similar but they were never the same. Grace was a lot like Gwen but they were not the same people.

The problems started when Merlin started obsessing about their deaths. Arthur always died young and died first. Merlin could never save him and he nearly always died in Merlin’s arms. Merlin always took his own life soon afterwards.

When Merlin had asked if it worried him, Arthur had just laughed it off, kissed him and said it didn’t matter because they always got another go. 

But to Merlin it really did matter. The only time Arthur had lived a full life was the second time round after Merlin had waited for him. That time he felt he must have got something right, when all the other times he must have made mistakes.

He believed that all the times they had been reborn there must have been a reason and as they hadn’t found out quickly enough what that was Arthur had died.

He needed to find out what they were needed for this time before it was too late. It was alright for Arthur, it wasn’t him who got to watch as his reason for living was taken away.

As Merlin got stuck into his Uni course the nightmares started. Every night he would dream Arthur’s death. Sometimes it was replays of old ones but mostly it was this Arthur now in this life. Each night he seemed to dream a more gruesome death for his lover. Each time more painful and each time he was powerless to save him. 

Merlin stopped sleeping. It just seemed easier than living through that each night. He would curl up around his king and listen to his breathing as he slept. He would then work through all their old lives trying to work out where the mistakes he had made had been. The first time had been so easy; Kilgarrah had told him what he was supposed to do, so he knew how it was he had failed. He didn’t have the luxury of someone to guide him over all these other lives, he so wished the old dragon hadn’t died. 

He felt so worried all the time that he found it really difficult to eat. Food just wouldn’t go down so he stopped bothering with that too. He had done it before, when he was waiting for Arthur the first time round. He knew it wouldn’t kill him but it did take its toll on him.

He lost weight and was finding it difficult to concentrate. He became withdrawn and obsessive about knowing where Arthur was all the time. 

When they were apart he would text Arthur and if he didn’t answer within half an hour he would walk out of lectures and cycle to Arthur’s office just to see him. Sometimes Arthur didn’t even know he had come. Merlin would see him in the distance and cycle back to campus. If someone else saw him they would usually find a quiet moment to mention it to Arthur. 

Arthur was worried sick. Merlin wouldn’t talk to him about it. He would talk about other stuff but not what was bothering him. Merlin didn’t know why, he just couldn’t. It seemed like it was his burden. It was his job to keep Arthur safe and he was rubbish at it.

Arthur would spend hours on the phone to Helen pouring out his soul, not having any one else to talk to. He was so glad they had told her their secret. She came to stay and Merlin was so pleased to see her but nothing changed. Helen presumed that Arthur was over exaggerating but now she saw her son with her own eyes she knew he wasn’t and there was nothing she could do.

Arthur got something from Graham to try and make Merlin sleep. He would slip it into Merlin’s tea but it didn’t seem to work.

Arthur ended up taking it himself as he started finding it difficult to sleep too. He would hold Merlin in his arms all night and worry about what was going to happen to them. They had been through so much, over so many life times and they had always managed. How could it be going so wrong for them now? They should be so happy.

Then one Sunday when Arthur was just about at the end of his tether, a big group from his work decided they would go to a pub far out in the country for Sunday lunch. The pub was said to do the best food and Arthur decided they would go. Merlin really didn’t want to, but he wasn’t going to let Arthur out of his sight, not on a Sunday. That was the only time he could keep an eye on him all day. So they went.

Merlin sat at the end of the table nearest the wall and as far out of the ways as he could get. Arthur wanted to sit by him but things didn’t work out like that and Arthur ended up half way along on the opposite side. 

Grace was sat by Merlin and give her her due she tried so hard to engage with her friend without much luck. Merlin just wouldn’t talk to anyone other than Arthur anymore if he could help it. Grace’s heart went out to him. He was a shadow of the man who used to laugh and joke with her whenever they could get away with it at work. If she couldn’t see how worried Arthur was about him she would think that it was Arthurs fault somehow. But Merlin was still so at ease, if quiet with Arthur so she knew it wasn’t him. 

The food was good and every one apart from Merlin ate well. Arthur did note that Merlin did try really hard to eat it, he just couldn’t. 

Despite Merlin’s quiet watchfulness everyone had a good time. They had all got used to this new Merlin and though they hated it, in the nicest possible way they tried to ignore him as much as possible. Just carry on as if nothing had changed. They all chatted and laughed and gossiped about other people at work and Steve’s new car. He told them all about a driving day he had done in it, which had been a disaster and the story had them all in stiches. 

Whilst waiting for their pudding Grace and Sophie excused themselves to ‘spend a penny’.

“That’s such a weird saying,” Tim said “I wonder where it came from. Do you know, oh fount of all knowledge?” he asked Arthur. Arthur just seemed to know everything these days. He was their star pub quiz player when they could get him to go along.

“Actually I do,” Arthur said in his best nerd voice, “it comes from the Great Exhibition from 1900. There were flushing toilets there and you had to pay a penny to use them.”

Then suddenly he remembered. He had been there. He and Merlin had gone. They had got the train and it had taken ages to get there. It had been so crowded and they had become split up. Merlin had used his magic to find him. Arthur had been talking to a man about lemonade when he had suddenly felt a pulling in his tummy and had no choice but to follow it to where Merlin was waiting for him.

Back in the pub all those sat round the table saw Arthur’s eyes glaze over for a few seconds and he felt Tim shake his arm. No-one noticed that Merlin had glazed over at the same time.

“You okay mate?” Tim asked as Arthur shook his head to clear it from the influx of memories.

“Yeah, I’m fine, you okay Merlin?” he asked as he looked over at his friend. 

Merlin slowly looked up at Arthur. He looked like he had been slapped.

“Merlin?” Arthur said again, “you okay bud?”

“You were old sire.” Merlin said sounding completely shocked.

Arthur looked confused “Wha..?” he started to say as Merlin put his hands on the table and leant forward.

“There was no purpose and you were old Arthur.” He said and then he laughed.

That shocked everyone. Grace and Sophie had just come back and everyone stared at him. This was the most they had heard him say in weeks and was that an actual laugh? He was talking rubbish and they only very heard him called Arthur 'sire' or 'my lord' when he was being sarky. Though in happier times Grace had heard him call Arthur 'my lord' a few times just dripping in filth. She had blushed as much as Arthur had whilst Merlin just walked away grinning. But right here and now it sounded weird and everyone wondered if Merlin had truly gone mad.

Arthur had to get him out before he said anything even weirder than that.

“Excuse us,” he said as he grabbed Merlin by the back of his collar and frog marched him out into the garden. It was raining quite heavily but neither of them noticed.

Arthur plonked himself on a picnic table with his feet on the bench bit as he released Merlin from his grasp.

“What the hell do you think you were saying in their?” he asked. “You know we don’t discuss this stuff in front of people.” 

“But don’t you see Arthur?” Merlin asked as he started pacing up and down in front of the bench. “You were old Arthur, you were old.”

“I know,” said Arthur still no clearer to the point Merlin was making.

“And there was no purpose.” He said as if that made everything obvious.

“I don’t understand what you are saying Merlin.” Arthur said as he shoved his hands in his pockets.

“We never knew the purpose of us being there and you lived. You didn’t die young. I didn’t screw everything up.” 

Merlin was getting quite excited and though Arthur still didn’t understand what he was trying to say he could see that things were now different in Merlin's mind. Arthur began to see hope that this might be the turning point to getting his Merlin back. He needed to keep him talking; he couldn’t let him clam up again now.

“Okay,” Arthur said slowly. “Why don’t you just start from the top and maybe I will understand where you are going with this.” 

And so Merlin did. All his worries just poured out of him. He told Arthur everything as Arthur sat on the table with his hands in his pockets, shoulders hunched trying to stop water dripping down his neck.

Merlin paced up and down in front of him, his hands moving constantly either to emphasise what he was saying or to run his hands through his hair making it stick up all over the place. The rain continued to pour, but they didn’t care. It kept other people away.

Merlin told Arthur all about his theories and the nightmares and how he thought he needed to find a purpose for them. He told him how he thought that because all the lives they had seen so far had been cut short, that they all must have been. He hadn’t considered that they had lots more lives to remember. But now he realised that if Arthur lived to old age once he could do it again. He told him how he had been expecting him to die any day soon. Now he could see that wasn’t a certainty. It might still happen but it might not and there is no point worrying about it. They didn’t need a purpose they just needed to live and make the most of everyday. 

He finally stopped his pacing and stood in front of Arthur grinning all over his face. Arthur just stood up and grabbing Merlin almost by his ears pulled him close and crushed their lips together. The kiss was wet and messy and when they finally pulled away they were drenched from the rain.

“Welcome back, my love.” Arthur said as Merlin grinned at him “Do you want to go home?” He asked, because he certainly did.

“Nah,” Merlin said, “I want me pudding.”

Arthur laughed and they hugged each other tightly in the rain.

When they went back in, the group was amazed to see an instant change in Merlin. Arthur chucked Tim out of his seat so that Merlin could sit by him. Merlin still seemed a bit quiet and shy but he did at least speak and even laughed a bit. They didn’t know what had just gone on but could see that Merlin was going to be okay and that meant that Arthur would be too. It was a very happy group that finally left the pub many hours after the pudding had been eaten.

 

Tim was one of the designated drivers and as he and Grace chatted in the front of the car all the way home, Merlin slept. He was curled up on the back seat with his head on Arthurs lap as Arthur carded his fingers through his dark hair.

This was the first time Merlin had slept in months and Arthur felt a huge weight lift from his shoulders.


	10. Chapter 10

Now that Merlin had space in his head for thoughts other than Arthur’s imminent death, he realised what an idiot he had been.

Not only had he nearly destroyed himself whilst practically dragging Arthur down with him, he had stuffed up his University course. He hadn’t realised how behind he had gotten. When he looked back over notes he had written, they were mostly gibberish. There were whole lectures and even modules that he had no memory of at all.

After a meeting with his tutor and the course director it was decided that he should defer his place and start afresh the next year. 

Arthur’s new PA had just quit so Merlin took up his old job for now. Everyone was so pleased to see him. He was sure it was only because him being around made Arthur more bearable but it still made his magic fizz with happiness.

He began to eat again and was soon putting on weight. Though the nightmares had stopped, he still wasn’t really getting enough sleep, but that was mainly Arthurs fault and he wasn’t going to complain. 

The next time they went to visit Helen; she couldn’t believe the change in him. She was so pleased to have Merlin back to his old self. 

Now the downstairs was fully decorated, Helen had decided the upstairs looked a bit shabby so the boys had agreed to come a give her bedroom a coat of paint. She watched happily as her son and his King laughed and bickered as they painted, getting as much on each other as they did the walls.

As they sat letting their supper go down that evening, the talk turned to weddings and they told Helen of their plans. Helen was thrilled for them. She would never have thought that her son marrying a man could make her so happy.

They had set the date for Merlin’s 21st birthday and they wanted to get married up in the woods, in the last little bit of Camelot. They got in contact with the forestry commission who said they would need to get a license but as long as they had it there shouldn’t be a problem.

They thought they could have the reception in the village hall but when they went to see it they decided it was too small. Merlin remembered a barn that they had once had a school disco in and they went to have a look and chat to the farmer about it. He was a very amenable chap and when he saw how much Arthur was willing to pay, he was even more so. 

As the day approached the arrangements all came together. The licence came and the registrar was booked. A friend of Arthur’s from uni agreed to do the photos and Merlin worked on an invocation that would ensure fine weather if they needed it.

After much checking and double checking with his mum, Merlin changed his name by deed pole so that he could get married as Merlin and not Martin. 

“Are you sure you don’t mind?” he asked her for the millionth time.

“It’s your name Merlin. It was me who got it wrong, off course I don’t mind.” She said yet again.

Merlin tried to get Arthur to change his name to Dollophead at the same time. Arthur didn’t find that very funny. (Though actually he did) They had decided without much thought to take Pendragon as their sir name. Merlin was thrilled to be taking Arthur’s name, though there were only three people who knew that he was.

Grace had come to work one day raving about a band she had seen at the weekend. Arthur thought it sounded awful. She said it was a folk band but that you had to hear them to appreciate them. So as soon as they could they caught them at a folk festival they were playing at and Grace was right they were brilliant. Their music was so lively and fast you just couldn’t help but dance. Everyone at the gig was having a brilliant time, including Arthur and Merlin as they danced until they dropped. As soon as they had finished their first set they booked them. It turned out that they were local to Merlin’s village. The fiddle player was Mrs William’s grandson, which made them even more perfect. 

Merlin made the cake himself. He used a Mary Berry recipe and made it three tiers high. He iced the tiers in plain white icing with smooth sides and crisp corners. He kept the decoration minimum, just small handmade roses made from sugar paste. They were Pendragon red and he spent hours making them and tiny green leaves. Everyone who saw them said they were beautiful. He stacked the tiers directly on top of each other and on the steps of the two bottom tiers he put some of the knights and horses they had from their old play sets along with the roses. He wasn’t sure it would work but it looked brilliant. On the top he put his wizard and Arthur’s King as they were not as broken and old looking as his king and Arthur’s wizard. 

When he finally let Arthur see it he cried and Merlin thought he hated it.

“I can take the Knights off,” he said trying not to sound dejected “I thought they looked okay though.”

“Merlin, it is perfect.” Arthur said as he pulled him in for a hug. “It is so us, and it is perfect.”

He was so glad that Merlin had let him see it before the day. He would have felt like such an idiot crying in front of all their guests over a cake.

As Merlin was making the cake, Arthur decided to make the rings. Steve had a friend who was a silver smith and he agreed to help him. He made them from two different bands of silver and twisted them together before flattening and polishing them. His, he made chunky but he made Merlin's slightly thinner to suit his slender fingers. They were both chuffed to bits with them and Merlin couldn’t wait it wear his. He vowed never to take it off and was already planning that when Arthur died he would hide them somewhere safe so that he could find them again the next time round.

There was only one cloud over their heads. Arthur’s father.

He had told them he wasn’t coming. He said that Arthur had already told him he didn’t need to so he wouldn’t. He thought the whole thing was a sham. Arthur had had plenty of girlfriends over the years and he couldn’t understand why suddenly he would want to marry a man. A clumsy, idiot of a man at that.

He also thought that getting married in a wood was a stupid idea. It was bound to rain and how was anyone going to find a strip of woods in the middle of no-where. He didn’t know why they couldn’t just hire a nice hotel somewhere.

Arthur kept telling himself, and Merlin that it didn’t matter. The day would be perfect without him so it was fine. But Merlin knew it did matter to Arthur so he vowed to try and do something about it. He considered enchanting him to make him come but that was just wrong. He thought he would just talk to him but the stubborn man refused to meet with him. So he had to think of something else.

On the day before the wedding Charles came into his office first thing in the morning and found a plush ivory coloured A3 envelope on his desk with his name on the front in what he recognised as Merlin's hand writing.

His first thought was how the hell he had gotten in and he nearly just threw the bloody thing in the bin. He hated to say it though but he was intrigued as to what Merlin had put in it.

He opened it and pulled out the contents. There was a bundle of paper all tied together with a red ribbon with a rather squished button hole flower tucked under the ribbon.

He opened the papers and spread them out. There was a print out from Google direction finder as well as a Google map. He had also printed out photos from Google street view of all the road junctions from the motor way. There was a copy of an ordinance survey map with the wood carefully marked. Merlin had also drawn the most beautiful map of the wood with a route carefully marked telling how to get to the clearing they had chosen. It was a stunning piece of work, with trees beautifully drawn and animals decorating the border. Merlin had also included a new invite with one word hand written on the bottom in his neatest writing. It just simply said ‘please’.

That evening Charles made sure his car was filled with petrol ready for the long drive.

 

*

Merlin's birthday dawned bright and clear and everyone woke up rather excited.

They were not due to get married until later in the afternoon. The plan was that it would give people enough time to get there and give them lots of time to set up. 

They were going to have a picnic tea up in the woods after the ceremony, before going down to the barn for the band. That would mean that people would be able to eat whist the photos were being done as from past experience they took ages and everyone was always starving by the time they got to eat.

Unfortunately for Merlin and Arthur, they were not allowed to do a thing. Helen had organised everything and had a band of willing volunteers to help set everything up. The boys were forbidden from going into the woods until half an hour before the ceremony was due to start. 

The food had been organised by Mrs Williams and Mrs Matthews as a thank you for all the decorating they had done for them after the flood. They had enlisted the help of the village WI who always rose to a challenge.

Having nothing else to do they went back to bed for the morning before sauntering down to the village pub for lunch. Everyone in the pub was very excited. As it was such a small village, Merlin was friends with nearly everyone so nearly everyone was invited to join them later in the woods. Most people had never been to a single sex wedding either and were very enthusiastic about the whole thing, which made Arthur laugh. 

When they felt they had wasted enough time they went back to get showered and changed before strolling up to the woods.

People were starting to arrive and they greeted friends and family on the way and they were followed by a big group as they strolled up the path amongst the trees. They were laughing and joking as they made their way to the clearing but as they stepped out from the trees they just stopped and stared.

The clearing looked amazing.

Helen had made handmade bunting in Pendragon red and gold that hung from the trees all around. There were garlands of matching flowers wound round tree trunks and around the edges of the clearing were flaming torches.

They had borrowed chairs and tables from the village hall and the chairs were set up in neat rows facing a table at the front. The tables set along one side, were bursting with the amount of food on them with Merlin’s cake set in pride of place. The WI had done themselves proud, everything looked delicious.

All the picnic tables from around the wood plus some from the local pub had been gathered up and had been placed in amongst the trees. They were all decked with crisp white table cloths and full length cushions for the benches which matched the red of the bunting. Each table had an elegant table decoration and candles.

Every one oohed and ahhed as they entered the clearing. Merlin and Arthur just stood looking gobsmacked until Helen rushed over to them. 

“Is it okay?” she asked wringing her hands together.

The boys snapped out of their stunned silence and laughed as they both hugged her at the same time. Crushing her in a King/sorcerer sandwich.

“It is amazing.” Merlin said.

“I just thought you would put a few chairs out.” Arthur said. “I can’t believe you have gone to so much trouble.”

“Oh nothing is too much trouble for my boy and his King.” She said quietly as she pulled away from them.

“Now let’s have a proper look at you” she said standing back to study them.

Helen couldn’t believe how stunning they looked. They had not let her see their handmade, fully tailored suits and they looked just amazing. They were going to try and match but they couldn’t find anything that they both looked really good in. They had chosen what they each liked the other in best which probably hadn’t been a brilliant idea as they were finding it very hard to keep their hands off each other. 

Arthur had chosen a midnight blue suit in close velvet with matching waist coat for Merlin. Arthur’s suit was a lighter blue which made his eyes look like sapphires. They both wore crisp white shirts; open at the collar with no ties. They had bought matching ties but they just seemed too formal for a wedding in a wood.

Helen was so proud of them as they grinned at her, she could have cried.

 

Arthur and Merlin began greeting their guests as they arrived and introduced each other to friends and family they had yet to meet and the seats soon began filling up.

At one point one of Arthur’s cousins commented on the amazing cake and asked where they had had it made. Merlin glanced over at it as Arthur proudly told her that Merlin had made it and started telling her the story of the toy knights. Then Merlin noticed it was different and made his way over to it to get a closer look.

As he looked at it, Arthur came up behind him and wrapped his arms round his sorcerer’s waist, resting his head on his shoulder.

“Hope you don’t mind” he said softly, “I changed it a bit.”

And sure enough he had swapped the King and the wizard over so that their well-loved, broken ones were now standing proudly side by side.

“Just seemed right,” Arthur said.

“You are right sire,” Merlin said, “That is much better.” And Arthur grinned as he kissed him on the cheek. 

Soon the registrar arrived and it was time.

As they stood side by side, in front of friends and family, their hands brushing together and waiting for the ceremony to start, Merlin looked back to grin at his mum and noticed one more guest slip into the clearing. He nudged Arthur and motioned for him to look round. Arthur gave him a confused look before turning round and there just sitting down in the back row was his father.

If Arthur thought he couldn’t be any happier he found he was wrong. His father was here, his father had accepted Merlin and that was brilliant.

The registrar started talking and everyone went quiet as the ceremony began.

Arthur turned to Merlin as he said his carefully written vows. He gazed at his beautiful, blue eyed, dark haired friend, confidant, lover, reason for living and he felt Merlin’s magic swell up around them. He knew nobody else would know it was there but after god knows how many lifetimes he was so attuned to it. He could feel it wash over him, he could almost taste it. It made him feel so warm and safe and loved. 

As Merlin returned his vows he just couldn’t hold his magic back. He was so happy he thought he would burst. Arthur looked so golden and so bright he was almost blinding him. He wanted to wrap his magic around him in a warm safe cocoon and never let him go. This was the first time over all their lifetimes that they had been able to do this. They had nearly always had to hide what they meant to each other but now those days were over, now he was free to love his King as he had always wanted to with every single fibre of everything he was.

As they slipped the rings on to each other’s ring finger they both knew that this wouldn’t be their last life together. They both knew that whatever happened they could never be truly apart. They knew that they lived for each other and would always find each other. They were bound together with something stronger than love. Their very existence was woven into the fabric of the earth and nothing could ever tear them apart. They knew that they could face anything that this world could throw at them and they knew that they would live happily ever after until the end of all time and there was nothing they wanted more.

The end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully there are still a few of you left.
> 
> I hope someone out there enjoyed it. I enjoyed writing it and regret nothing.  
> x


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